The new England supremo
Mr Fabio Capello
Plans to take the England team
And fulfil our football dream
To raise English
spirits up
And win the next world
cup
But it would seem
This is just a silly
dream
As the only way Mr
Capello
The poor deluded
fellow
Will take a team as
far
As the finals in South
Africa
The only way he can
deliver
Is as the German team
coach driver
Are you wearing plus fours?
Well, they look just
the job
The tweeds with argyle
socks
But you do look like a
nob
My uncle sadly died at Wimbledon
He was a killed by a
tennis ball
I wasn’t too sad at
the funeral
It was a lovely
service after all
Guardians of the game,
Holders of the purse
strings
The doers of deals
Honest as the day
is…..
On the other hand
They are
First
In
For
All the dosh
Cole and King were seen
Laughing hysterically
Just a few hours
After defeat to
Germany
I saw no humour
In the way England
plays
In fact I haven’t
laughed
For the past two days
Are you wearing fishnet tights?
That’s not a bad
catch, I’ll bet
There’s a sight worth
seeing
When you bend over
Jeanette
That must be like the
moment
The football hits the
back of the net
Tiger should now have
Sympathy for baby
seals
With first-hand
knowledge
Of how they feel
As Tiger and the baby
seal
Have in common
That they’ve both been
clubbed
By a Scandinavian
There is a subtle difference
Between “Put” and
“Putt”
In meaning as well as
spelling
I will attempt to
elucidate
Their subtle
difference
Clearly in the telling
“Put” means to place
something
Where you ultimately
want it
“Putt” is an
unrealistic attempt
To do the same with the ball you hit
If Andy Murray wins Wimbledon
He will be called a
super brit
But if he fails like
those before
He will be that dour
Scottish git
Fed up of missing his favourite shows on TV
Young Ben wanted was
his own telly
“Could I have a telly
in my room dad”?
Reluctantly Dad said
yes to the lad
Ben stayed in his room
the first night
Next morning, he gave
his parents a fright
He asked his them
“what is love juice?”
His mother left making
some feeble excuse
Leaving his dad to
explain the basics
Of sexual intercourse
and its mechanics
The boy sat in open
mouthed amazement
Dad asked him after
his embarrassment
“Exactly what program
did you have on?”
The boy replied
"I was watching Wimbledon"
Waves of Rangers blue
Relentlessly Attack
Wave upon wave
Push their opponents
back
But this valiant
effort
This Rangers blue tide
That moved with
precision
Pushing opponents
aside
Did not happen in the
stadium
Nor was a ball at
their feet
This game took place
On Manchester’s city
streets
The Waves of Rangers
blue
With alcohol fuelled
Fight
Brought to bear upon
the police
Their vengeance and
their spite
But if during the
match
Such passion had been
on show
Then the UEFA cup
Might have gone to
Glasgow
May 14th 2008
The events following
the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium
