ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014

 

 2010You should always have a plan B

In Completive football I’d say

Unfortunately for England though

They neglected to have a plan A

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

But we should stop the whining

For no matter how black the cloud

There is always a silver lining

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

And we get no second chance

But at least we can safely say

That we were not as bad as France

A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

“We are disappointed with the draw

Against this piss poor team today”

“We consider it two points dropped”

Said a spokesman of the Algerian FA

INTRUDER ALERT - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

After security failures

In South Africa

Surrounding England

In particular

FIFA want to ascertain

How certain individuals

Could gain entry

Without credentials

To England’s dressing room

The ones causing most worry

Were Emile Heskey

Glen Johnson and Gareth Barry

CAPDEVILA, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Capdevila has reached the pinnacle

Of herculean World Cup feats

He has joined the pantheon

Of notorious world cup cheats

WELL MY LORD, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Did you think Lord Triesman mad, for saying?

That referees might me bribed by Spain

If so, did watching the sending off of Costa

Give you any doubt and make you think again

DON CAPELLO - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Don Capello spoke of the “Big Mistake”

And a big performance is his wish

But sadly, the outspoken John Terry

Will tonight be sleeping with the fish

HOWARDS END - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Well England made it to the final

Though alas only the refereeing chap

But like the England team before him

Howard Webb was really crap

INTERNATIONAL BAN - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Goodluck Jonathon’s response to the failure

Of the Nigeria team in South Africa

Is to ban them from internationals

For the next two year which is radical

 

The English FA considered doing the same

For the good of the English game

But decided not to at an FA meeting

As no one would notice England not competing

TOP DOGS

 

Korea have had a great world cup

They’ve beaten Italy with a golden goal

How will they celebrate the victory?

They’ll be eating dog tonight in Seoul

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

But we should stop the whining

For no matter how black the cloud

There is always a silver lining

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

And we get no second chance

But at least we can safely say

That we were not as bad as France

A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

“We are disappointed with the draw

Against this piss poor team today”

“We consider it two points dropped”

Said a spokesman of the Algerian FA

INTRUDER ALERT - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

After security failures

In South Africa

Surrounding England

In particular

FIFA want to ascertain

How certain individuals

Could gain entry

Without credentials

To England’s dressing room

The ones causing most worry

Were Emile Heskey

Glen Johnson and Gareth Barry

CAPDEVILA, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Capdevila has reached the pinnacle

Of herculean World Cup feats

He has joined the pantheon

Of notorious world cup cheats

WELL MY LORD, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Did you think Lord Triesman mad, for saying?

That referee’s might me bribed by Spain

If so, did watching the sending off of Costa

Give you any doubt and make you think again

A SWIFT EXIT - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

England left for the airport

On the wrong bus, apparently

For emblazoned on its side was

“Playing with pride and glory”

 

England’s bus was possibly stolen

You will recognize it quite easily

For emblazoned on its side is

“Playing with sloth and lethargy”

ENGLAND COACH - CAPELLO

 

The new England supremo

Mr Fabio Capello

Plans to take the England team

And fulfill our football dream

To raise English spirits up

And win the next world cup

But it would seem

This is just a silly dream

As the only way Mr Capello

The poor deluded fellow

Will take a team as far

As the finals in South Africa

The only way he can deliver

Is as the German team coach driver

THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGH - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Cole and King were seen

Laughing hysterically

Just a few hours

After defeat to Germany

 

I saw no humour

In the way England plays

In fact I haven’t laughed

For the past two days

POINTING THE FINGER - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were predictable, disorganized, and poor

Our ineptitude was there for all to see

But as much as the players failed to turn up

And performed disappointingly

We were tactically bereft as well

Because Fabio Capello has no plan B

GREAT EXPECTATIONS - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

I never expected us to win the cup

That was always inconceivable

But if we played to our potential

The Quarter finals were achievable

 

But when the first ball was kicked

They were more nightmare than dream

So I just wanted them to do their best

Clearly too much to ask of our team