ONE OF MY TEACHERS IS A RUNNER

 

One of my teachers is a runner

He does it fanatically

But I don’t have him for PE

I have him for Jog-raphy

HE DIDN’T CUT A DASH

 

He did not in anyway

Cut a dash

His skinny legs

Hung below his shorts

Like two pieces

Of knotted string

And yet he ran

Like a gazelle

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I COME

 

I am proud to say that I come

From a mixed race family

My mum was a sprinter

And dad did cross country

I RAN A PERSONAL BEST

 

I ran a personal best

In the 100 metres

And my new record is

Almost 80 metres

ARE YOU WEARING A HORSES HEAD?

 

Are you wearing a horse’s head?

Are you supposed to be PUCK?

Oh, you’re running the marathon

Well, aren’t you the a silly fool

ARE YOU WEARING RUNNING CLOTHES?

 

Are you wearing running clothes?

What on earth are you thinking?

You are in no shape for running

What have you been drinking?

I wasn’t born yesterday you know

You’ve had more than a tipple

You’ll be sorry I can tell you

When you end up with jogger’s nipple

DASH IT ALL

 

They called it the dash

Way back in the day

A short word for a short race

Dash was the right word to say

Now they call it the sprint

Like it’s something elite

It’s still just a short race

That’s been hijacked by the Effete

OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him Fastidious

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners

WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO ATHLETICS

 

When I first got into athletics

A hurdle scared me a bit

But with dogged perseverance

I managed to get over it

 

ONE OF MY TEACHERS IS A RUNNER

One of my teachers is a runner

He does it fanatically

But I don’t have him for PE

I have him for Jog-raphy

I RAN A PERSONAL BEST

 

I ran a personal best

In the 100 metres

And my new record is

Almost 80 metres

IN THE LONDON MARATHON

 

In the London marathon

One of my friends ran

Dressed as a chicken

While another one ran

Dressed as an egg

I don’t know who came first

RUNNING GENES

 

Scientists say there are now

Running Genes

But surely it would chafe

If you ran in Jeans

MARATHON MAN

 

I used to be a Marathon man

A Marathon man was I

Then they renamed them Snickers

I don’t know why

WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO ATHLETICS

 

When I first got into athletics

A hurdle scared me a bit

But with dogged perseverance

I managed to get over it

OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him FastHidious

SIX BANNED WHEELCHAIR ATHLETES

Six banned Wheelchair athletes

From the Paralympics team GB

Were found to have tested positive

For WD40

HE DIDN’T CUT A DASH

 

He did not in anyway

Cut a dash

His skinny legs

Hung below his shorts

Like two pieces

Of knotted string

And yet he ran

Like a gazelle

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners