A POLE DANCER AND A GYMNAST

 

A pole dancer and a gymnast

Hard working and skilled too

The only difference between them

Seems to be the quantity of tattoo

LONDON 2012 # 2

 

Alas I was in error

There is no end to the terror

Alas I was sadly wrong

The Olympic whinge goes on

THE MCCARTNEY TRIALS 2012

 

I enjoyed the Jubilee concert

It was a wonderful night

I thought the opening ceremony

For the games was just right

 

But before any other major events

I want to know one thing

When is someone going to tell sir Paul?

That he can’t bloody sing

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS

 

I love the Olympics

And now it’s on home soil

It gives us an opportunity

As our competitor’s toil

 

To see them taking part

In events of this and that

Of seeing all the many sports

The team GB are so awful at

LONDON 2012 # 1

 

After seven long years

Of blood sweat and tears

The games can commence

And that test of human endurance

Can come to an end

As we abandon that trend

That has made us all cringe

The seven-year Olympic whinge

BEACH VOLLEYBALL

 

I love the girl’s Beach Volleyball

I’m really very keen

It’s not like a proper beach though

For a start it’s just to clean

No cigarette ends or beer cans

And not a used condom to be seen

A GYMNAST AND A POLE DANCER

A gymnast and a pole dancer

Both skilled and both work hard

The only difference between them

It seems to me is a leotard 

SCRATCH GOLFER

 

I am a scratch golfer

And what that means my lad

Is I write down all my good scores

And scratch out the bad

ARE YOU WEARING A HORSES HEAD?

 

Are you wearing a horse’s head?

Are you supposed to be PUCK?

Oh, you’re running the marathon

Well, aren’t you the a silly fool

I LIKE THE SPORTING BANTER

I like the sporting banter

Surrounding sporting Rivalry

But there is a fine line

Separating it from tribalry 

GOLF MODE

 

A man got on the bus

And sat down next to Bimbette

He smiled warmly at her

And briefly their eyes met

 

Full of golf balls

His bulging front trouser pockets

Caught her attention

Her eyes almost left their sockets

 

He said "its golf balls."
And Bimbette said “Oh”

Then continued, "Does it hurt

As much as tennis elbow?"

GOOD OLD FIFA

 

Good old FIFA

Are getting very fat

With a fee for this

And a fee for that

THE SEVENTIES

 

If the 60s was the decade of dreams

Then the 1970’s was the decade of nightmares

It was the decade when

The German hex over England began

As in the heat of Mexico, in 1970

They knocked us out of the World Cup,

And it all went downhill from there

The defeat to Germany

Was to be England’s last appearance

In the World Cup Finals for 12 years.

The following year saw Arsenal,

The team we all love to hate,

Do the League and cup double.

1972 saw me enter the work place

And I’ve been there ever since, but I’m not bitter.

1973 was a mixed year

Manchester United were relegated to division 2,

The Washington Redskins lost in the Superbowl

And a significant other entered my life.

1974 United won promotion as champions

But Liverpool won the FA Cup and they blossomed

Into a force that would dominate for years to come.

The following year Liverpool won the league title

In 1976 Southampton beat United in the cup final,

All the worse as my future father in law was a saint’s fan

The high point of the decade came in 77 when

United won the FA Cup, beating Liverpool 2-1

Normal service resumed for 1978

As I discovered there was more to girls

Than holding hands and stealing kisses.

And that they very definitely weren’t,

All sugar and spice and all thing nice

My significant other left me for an accountant,

Who supported Luton Town,

And to add insult onto injury was ginger

1979 United lost in the Cup Final to Arsenal

And so ended the decade of disappointments

When the only thing naffer than the music

Were the 70’s fashions

The decade that didn’t even have style

Or a decent musical accompaniment

The 70’s when dreams turned to nightmares

THE TENNIS SWING

 

The dour Scot lost the first two sets

And the outcome looked a pretty safe bet

But the plucky Brit fought back to level

Only for the Scot to return in the final set

THE BEST IN THE WORLD

 

I won’t hear a word against our tennis players

It’s true that they certainly have their detractors

But I have always thought British players

Make truly world-class tennis commentators

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

But we should stop the whining

For no matter how black the cloud

There is always a silver lining

 

We were rubbish in South Africa

And we get no second chance

But at least we can safely say

That we were not as bad as France

ARE YOU WEARING OLYMPIC SUITS?

 

Are you wearing Olympic suits?

Well, you’re looking very smart

You’re Essex lads, aren’t you?

I bet you can’t wait for it to start

You will show to the world at large

That you have good hearts

When you’re lighting the torches

Show us you possess some smarts

For I hope there is more to you

When the 2012 Olympiad starts

Than dropping your tailored trousers

And lighting up your farts

A GAME OF ALL FOURS

 

When she suggested

A game of all fours

I thought that meant

Getting into her drawers

But no, I was wrong

Which is a shame

It turns out “all fours”

Is just a card game

THE SIXTIES

 

The sixties, what a decade

I was only five, when in 1960

The Beatles hit the scene

And the following year

JFK took office as President

In 1962 a very significant appointment,

That of Alf Ramsey as England Manager,

Who brought us the Wingless Wonders.

The reborn Manchester United

Rising phoenix like from the ashes of Munich

Won the FA Cup in 1963.

In 1964 I held hands with Carole Duffy,

A very wonderful event at the time,

1965 saw United win the League title

And the mini skirt first appeared

The latter was less significant when I was 10

Then in 66 England won the world cup

(And yes, the ball did cross the line)

United won the League again the following year

And then fulfilling the dream,

So cruelly crushed 10 years before,

Manchester United won the European cup in 1968.

1969 was famously the year

That Linda McMahon first kissed me

Oh, and Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.

For me it was a decade of dreams coming true

A time when I thought life just couldn’t get any better

And I was right, because then came the 70s

TIGER, TIGER - OUT AND ABOUT

 

Elin was asked what she and Tiger were doing

Out and about in the early hours of the morning

She said she couldn’t answer for Tiger

But for herself she was out clubbing

A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

“We are disappointed with the draw

Against this piss poor team today”

“We consider it two points dropped”

Said a spokesman of the Algerian FA

FULHAM’S FOLLY

 

Outside a football ground in London

At Craven Cottage, the home of Fulham

Stands a statue of Wacko Jacko

Why is it there? I don’t know

What is he doing in West London eh?

Is it because when Fulham play

They are not all black or all white

Not unlike Jackson himself, is that right?

Or is it just that Al Fayed my old lad

You are really barking mad

EXTREME SPORTS TIP # 1

 

You don’t need a parachute

To go skydiving

Unless you want to make it

A regular thing

ENGLISH DEFENDERS LEAGUE

 

Goals scored in the premiership

Reached record numbers on Saturday

But that’s what happens when you hold

An EDL rally on the same day

TIGER, TIGER -TRAPPINGS

Being on the top of his sport

Tiger Woods is wealthy,

And he enjoys the trappings

Of being financially healthy

He has bought luxury cars

With what he has won

Once all in pristine condition

But now has a hole-in-one.

INTRUDER ALERT - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

After security failures

In South Africa

Surrounding England

In particular

FIFA want to ascertain

How certain individuals

Could gain entry

Without credentials

To England’s dressing room

The ones causing most worry

Were Emile Heskey

Glen Johnson and Gareth Barry

BLATTER’S FOLLY

 

Everyone wants a video ref in the game

There are no dissenting voices I can name

Fans shout their support and managers want it

Players are in favour and even the refs want it

Because it is a change that really matters

Everybody wants its except Mr Blatter

MUMMY’S BOYS

 

I long since came to terms

Since John Barnes set the trend

With footballers wearing gloves

To keep their little pandies warm

I am less understanding

Of players taking to the field

With tights beneath their shorts

But it seems I must accept it

But the line has to be drawn somewhere

And that line was crossed

This very weekend

I was shocked beyond belief

To see a player take to the field of play

Wearing a muffler about his neck

ALL IN THE GAME

 

Shaven headed barbarians

And tattooed savages

Strut with preening peacocks

In performing their pantomime

While their vengeful tribes

With banners held high

Chant their rhythmic cacophony

Faces distorted with hate

 

On the field of honour

They grapple and kick

They push and pull

They dive and roll

Assault and assail

Connive and cheat

 

In unforgiving onslaughts

They perform for baying hordes

A vile and brutal spectacle

Always referred to

As the beautiful game

TIGER, TIGER - TIPS AND POINTERS

 

Elin’s phone hasn’t stopped

Since the tale hit the papers

Every golfer in the world

Wants to speak to her

To get some pointers

On how to beat Tiger

CAPDEVILA, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Capdevila has reached the pinnacle

Of herculean World Cup feats

He has joined the pantheon

Of notorious world cup cheats

WELL MY LORD, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Did you think Lord Triesman mad, for saying?

That referees might me bribed by Spain

If so, did watching the sending off of Costa

Give you any doubt and make you think again

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 266

 

If St Paul's day

Be fair and clear

Then Wimbledon

Will be good this year

And strawberries will

Sell well my dear

 

St Paul's day (June 29th)

IT’S NOT OVER

 

We left the stadium after awhile

Exiting though the open turnstiles

To find inappropriately clad in licra

And standing on top of a Micra

A very fat woman singing opera

From on top of that poor little car

When I heard a laugh from my lad

Who then said “It’s all over then Dad”

THE CHARACTER OF GOLF

 

The game of Golf is character building

In the view of certain people

Others are a little more grounded

And would describe it as a perpetual

Series of unmitigated disasters

Punctuated by an occasional miracle

UEFA CHAMPIONS GREED

 

I hate the Champion’s League

On so many levels

I hate it because it’s a competition

Devised by money grubbing devils

 

I hate it because you have to enter it

Because that is where the money is found

Money to lure the pampered prima donnas

To your particular ground

 

I hate it because it is ceded

So the best teams are always on view

So that UEFA can optimise

Their television revenue

 

I hate it because it doesn’t seem to know

What it really wants to be

Is it a knockout competition?

Or the beginnings of the super league

 

But I hate it most of all

Above all other considerations

Because the European Champions League

Has so few actual champions

 

Post Script

 

Well all the above is true

But I regret the overriding reason

That I hate it so passionately is that

We have been knocked out this season

 

WHO’S THE WANKER IN THE BLACK?

The song of the supporter’s pack

“Who’s the wanker in the black?”

That was the chant

But no longer, for you cant

Disrespect the referee

For a man such as he

Is to be protected

And respected

And no one must speak ill

Even if forced to swallow the bitter pill

Of un-just officialdom

Which is NOT seldom

No manager may mutter

Query or utter

Discontent in the ref’s direction

For to commit such an indiscretion

Will see them had up before the FA

Where a fine must be paid

And be sentenced to a touchline ban

For insulting the black clad man

But why should they be protected

And forcibly respected

They are a professional group

And well salaried to boot

They no longer officiate

In their amateur state

Low-tech refereeing

A hobby to be fitted in

Attending the scene of their crime

In their spare time

With no remuneration

For their dedication

No “bread and honey”

Just enough for petrol money

If lucky luncheon vouchers maybe

For a cup of tea

And a pie to warm the soul

Before disallowing a perfectly good goal

It was much better then

With those amateur men

And be able to say to their faces

That they were bloody disgraces

I don’t think we have progressed

Now we have professional refs

They now think themselves important

And no longer want to hear the chant

But I still want to sing with the pack

“Who’s the wanker in the black?” 

CONFESSIONS OF A HOOKER

 

Lying in bed on their wedding night

The newly wed wife said, eyes full of tears

“Before we were married

I was a hooker for eight years”

The husband said to her calmly

That he had no concern about it

And that it might even

Spice up their nuptials a bit

Then she got flustered

And said “no, no you don’t understand

My name was Jeremy

And I played Rugby for England”

BETTER TO BE DEAD THAN RED

 

The Liverpool supporters

Singing from the cop

Urge me to join them

On and on they never stop

 

“You’ll never walk alone”

Is the anthem they sing

It’s gone on for years now

With that tinny scouser ring

 

Well I’m from Blackpool

And of more sober tone

Which is why I say to the cop

That I’d rather walk alone

GREAT EXPECTATIONS - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

I never expected us to win the cup

That was always inconceivable

But if we played to our potential

The Quarter finals were achievable

 

But when the first ball was kicked

They were more nightmare than dream

So I just wanted them to do their best

Clearly too much to ask of our team 

SUMMER SEASON

 

The summer started oh so well

With a Euro football banquet

Though sadly the home nations

Were unable to attend it

But the Euros inevitably led

To the curse of footie nations

The summer transfer market

And the incessant speculation

After the Euros came Wimbledon

And I cheered on the plucky brit

Then suffered our inclement climate

While being bored by the Cricket

I watched the windblown whingers

Hacking round at the British open

Then courtesy of the highlights

I sat and watched it all again

Then more newspaper talk

Of who will stay and who will go

Who is in and who is out

And more stories about Ronaldo

Two weeks away on the costas

Helped to numb the pain

Then home to more paper talk

And of course more summer rain

Even the upcoming Olympics

Fail to give me inspiration

Thinking of all that track and field

Merely deepens my depression

The only thing to break my torpor

And to rejuvenated my heart

Is to hear that shrill whistle blow

And have the football season start

TIGER, TIGER - STROKE PLAY

 

Elin Woods admitted

Assaulting Tiger

“How many times”?

The police asked her

She thought for a moment

"I’m not sure exactly”

Then with a nod she said

“Mark me down for a three”

ARE YOU WEARING PLUS TWOS?

 

Are you wearing plus twos?

Well listen, here’s the bad news

It looks as though the plus twos

Have fallen out with your shoes

A SWIFT EXIT - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

England left for the airport

On the wrong bus, apparently

For emblazoned on its side was

“Playing with pride and glory”

 

England’s bus was possibly stolen

You will recognise it quite easily

For emblazoned on its side is

“Playing with sloth and lethargy”

A GAME OF ARRA’S

Me and some friends

Fancied a game of darts

I said, “Nearest the bull

To see who starts”

Johnny went “Woof”

And I went “Baah”

Then Danny went “Moo”

He was the closest by far

FIFA # 5

The beautiful game,

Is the life blood

Coursing through their veins

These guardians,

These stewards and rule makers

It fills their every waking moment

 

On the other hand

They are:

 

Frauds

Interested in

Football

A little 

ARE YOU WEARING RUNNING CLOTHES?

 

Are you wearing running clothes?

What on earth are you thinking?

You are in no shape for running

What have you been drinking?

I wasn’t born yesterday you know

You’ve had more than a tipple

You’ll be sorry I can tell you

When you end up with jogger’s nipple

GOOD BYE TOMMY

 

Good bye Tommy

Celtics gentleman

Respected by professionals

Respected by the fans

 

Good bye Tommy

Celtic servant and friend

A rock and pillar

Until your early end

 

Good bye Tommy

High in our esteem

The Celtic angels now

Have a new man on the team

 

Tommy Burns Died May 15th 2008

ENGLAND COACH - CAPELLO

 

The new England supremo

Mr Fabio Capello

Plans to take the England team

And fulfil our football dream

To raise English spirits up

And win the next world cup

But it would seem

This is just a silly dream

As the only way Mr Capello

The poor deluded fellow

Will take a team as far

As the finals in South Africa

The only way he can deliver

Is as the German team coach driver

ARE YOU WEARING PLUS FOURS?

 

Are you wearing plus fours?

Well, they look just the job

The tweeds with argyle socks

But you do look like a nob

ACED

 

My uncle sadly died at Wimbledon

He was a killed by a tennis ball

I wasn’t too sad at the funeral

It was a lovely service after all

FIFA # 4

 

Guardians of the game,

Holders of the purse strings

The doers of deals

Honest as the day is…..

 

On the other hand

They are

 

First

In

For

All the dosh

THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGH - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Cole and King were seen

Laughing hysterically

Just a few hours

After defeat to Germany

 

I saw no humour

In the way England plays

In fact I haven’t laughed

For the past two days

ARE YOU WEARING FISHNET TIGHTS?

 

Are you wearing fishnet tights?

That’s not a bad catch, I’ll bet

There’s a sight worth seeing

When you bend over Jeanette

That must be like the moment

The football hits the back of the net

TIGER, TIGER - MUTUAL APPRECIATION CLUB

 

Tiger should now have

Sympathy for baby seals

With first-hand knowledge

Of how they feel

As Tiger and the baby seal

Have in common

That they’ve both been clubbed

By a Scandinavian

SUBTLE DIFFERENCE

There is a subtle difference

Between “Put” and “Putt”

In meaning as well as spelling

I will attempt to elucidate

Their subtle difference

Clearly in the telling

 

“Put” means to place something

Where you ultimately want it

“Putt” is an unrealistic attempt

To do the same with the ball you hit 

ANYONE FOR TENNIS # 2

 

If Andy Murray wins Wimbledon

He will be called a super brit

But if he fails like those before

He will be that dour Scottish git

YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM TV

 

Fed up of missing his favourite shows on TV

Young Ben wanted was his own telly

“Could I have a telly in my room dad”?

Reluctantly Dad said yes to the lad

Ben stayed in his room the first night

Next morning, he gave his parents a fright

He asked his them “what is love juice?”

His mother left making some feeble excuse

Leaving his dad to explain the basics

Of sexual intercourse and its mechanics

The boy sat in open mouthed amazement

Dad asked him after his embarrassment 

“Exactly what program did you have on?”

The boy replied "I was watching Wimbledon"

WHO PUT THE GER IN ANGER

 

Waves of Rangers blue

Relentlessly Attack

Wave upon wave

Push their opponents back

 

But this valiant effort

This Rangers blue tide

That moved with precision

Pushing opponents aside

 

Did not happen in the stadium

Nor was a ball at their feet

This game took place

On Manchester’s city streets

 

The Waves of Rangers blue

With alcohol fuelled Fight

Brought to bear upon the police

Their vengeance and their spite

 

But if during the match

Such passion had been on show

Then the UEFA cup

Might have gone to Glasgow 

 

May 14th 2008

The events following the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium

EURO TRASH

 

After another dismal round of European qualifiers

I think it’s time for a change

There are too many countries now

So, I propose something radical

Norway and Sweden should merge

To become Swedway or Norden

Spain and Portugal could become

Sportugal, Porpain or Spugal

Denmark and Finland would be Finmark

Belgium and Holland would become Belland

Germany and Austria would either be

Gerstria or the fourth reich

The Balkan states could reform as Yugoslavia

Greece and Turkey could be Treece or Gurkey

The USSR could regroup, for sporting reasons only of course

And the home nations could combine to become England

ARE YOU WEARING BOXING GLOVES?

Are you wearing boxing gloves?

Well as they say “if the cap fits”

I should say it’s not before time

And might curb your nocturnal habits 

TIGER, TIGER - SHORT YARDAGE

 

Tiger can drive a Golf ball

400 yards, effortlessly

But can only drive a car

Little more than three

POINTING THE FINGER - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were predictable, disorganized and poor

Our ineptitude was there for all to see

But as much as the players failed to turn up

And performed disappointingly

We were tactically bereft as well

Because Fabio Capello has no plan B

THE NATURAL

 

As a footballer I must confess

My skills locker is somewhat bereft

I am a naturally two footed player

But unfortunately, both of them are left

FOOTBALL

There are many differences

Between Rugby and football

Rules, number of players, ball shape

Goal posts, pitch markings, duration

And so on and so forth

It was once said that football

Is a gentleman’s game played by ruffian’s

And Rugby a ruffian’s game played by gentleman

Not quite as true as it used to be

But still not far off the mark

I’ve even heard it said

That Football is played by children

And Rugby by grownups

But for me the difference

Can best be defined in this way

A Footballer spends 90 minutes

Pretending to be injured

While a Rugby player spends 80 minutes

Pretending that he is not 

SINGING THE BLUES - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

They sing the homesick blues

“We miss our families”

These pampered prima donnas

Living in 5 star luxury

 

In Afghanistan they are home sick

They miss their families

The soldiers living in tents

Under fire from the enemy

 

They sing the we’re bored blues

“There’s like nothing to do”

Like a bunch of seven-year-olds

Not men of over 22

 

We are so bored with these players

And their incessant whining

Waited on hand and foot

Living it up on 5 star dinning

 

They sing the we’re tired blues

Like we have any sympathy

Only having to play once a week

Then after training they are free

 

We’re tired waiting for our heroes

When eleven strangers appear

Where are the premiership stars?

Who play weekly without fear

 

We sing the England blues

As each tournament comes around

When each and every time

Our dreams lie tattered on the ground 

GO FOURTH

 

Who will finish fourth?

Will it be Liverpool?

Who stake their claim?

Or will Aston Villa rule

Who will stand tall?

Will it be Man City?

That win the prize

Or will Spurs be sitting pretty

Who will go forth?

Into the Champions League

To dine at the top table

Who of these wannabes

 

Liverpool were last the champions

More than 20 years ago

Aston villa weren’t crowned

For 30 years or so

Its more than 40 years

Since Man City won

And Spurs were last the winners

In 1961

 

But the Champion’s League beckons

For these wannabes

These trophy less also ran’s

How can that be?

LOOSE MORALS #1

 

She was without her knickers at Twickers

There was a little thatch at Brans Hatch

There was a blushing fellow at flushing meadow

When she was legs akimbo in the limo

THE DOMESTIC GAME

 

The beautiful game

Is one of different hues

It can redden your face

And cause marital blues

Especially when you add

An excess of cheap booze

When victory is achieved

Sex often ensues

But it’s a different story

If he watches them lose

He’ll wear a football shirt

And she’ll wear a bruise

The bigger the match

The shorter his fuse

As he rants and raves

She shakes in her shoes

At the final whistle

Full of anger and booze

He wears red and white

She wears black and blue

INTERNATIONAL BAN - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Goodluck Jonathon’s response to the failure

Of the Nigeria team in South Africa

Is to ban them from internationals

For the next two year which is radical

 

The English FA considered doing the same

For the good of the English game

But decided not to at an FA meeting

As no one would notice England not competing

 

FIFA # 3

 

The beautiful game,

Is the life blood

Coursing through their veins

These guardians,

These stewards and rule makers

It fills their every waking moment

 

On the other hand

They actually think

 

Football

Is interesting

For

About a minute

PLAYING AROUND

 

She was my little sex kitten

Lively and playful

Very kittenish indeed

I had long hankered after her

With her Reassuring curvaceousness

And the feeling was apparently mutual.

She had a liking for the open air

And a penchant for the dangerous

So, while her husband played 18 holes

We played around

And made love in the long grass

Beside the eighteenth green

FAIR PLAY DIAGO - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

At the world cup

Maradona has called for fair play

And he wants referees

To understand the meaning, he says

He could perhaps give FIFA

An example of fair play

Like not punching the ball into the net

That would be one way

THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB # 2

 

Rafa is leaving Anfield

So, a new regime is brewing

There is a new job

That he is actively pursuing

And it’s a great shame

That a new club is wooing

The last thing Manchester wants

Is the prospect of Liverpool renewing

By employing a manager

Who actually knows what he’s doing

 

HARE COURSING

 

On the whole,

No pun intended,

It was a pleasant day

On the Golf course

The sun was warm

The wind was light

The golf was

A mixture of the sublime

And the ridiculous

A day of ups and downs

As my scorecard testified

But the par 4 15th

Was a different story

I had hit a crisp drive

From the elevated tee

And away it flew

Straight down the middle

As Bing once sang

It landed just short of the dog leg

Kicked to the right

And rolled perfectly round the turn

After such a shot

You feel ten feet tall

As you stride down the fairway

And I felt every inch of it

When I reached my ball

I found it sitting up invitingly

And with an unhindered path to the green

I had a birdie chance.

Slightly ahead and to the right

A rather large Rabbit,

Was enjoying the afternoon sun

Blissfully unaware of what was to come

I selected my club

And addressed the ball

“Just hit it straight”

I told myself

I swung the club towards the ball

In a perfect ark

But I must have lifted my head

Because there was an ugly contact

And the ball sliced away

In the direction of the Rabbit

Now had he just stayed still

He would have lived

But alas at the sound of the sliced contact

The Rabbit leapt vertically in the air

Straight into the path of the ball

And died instantly

Now looking back, I could have claimed

That the Rabbit put me off

But it didn’t really

If the ball had followed its path

I would have been out of bounds

So, the Rabbit sacrificed himself

To save my par