MATCH OF THE DAY

 

I took the boys to the match

Down the road on Saturday

I take them to the home games

But we never ever go away

 

They’re only a conference side

About mid table if we’re lucky

If we manage a decent cup run

The pundits call us plucky

 

Almost numb with boredom

We suffered a dull first half

The ref fell over on his arse

So at least we had a laugh

 

To cheer the boys up a bit

I took them to a burger bar

I didn’t know how long we’d be

The line didn’t seem that far

 

The true concept of “fast food”

Seems to have passed them by

As we spent half time queuing

For two hot dogs and a pie

 

I sent the boys to the stands

Coming over all paternal

I queued on my own and missed

Two goals after the interval

 

Back in the stand with the boys

I realized I’d got nothing for me

And when I tied Josh’s shoelace

 I missed goal number three

 

I saw the last five minutes 

Until the final whistle blew

Still at least we won the match

The last time we only drew

 

Match days are meant to be fun

I must be totally off my brain

Halfway home without a coat

It starts to pour with rain

 

Forty quid to see the match

Plus, fast food and a program

Still at least I spent the day

With my boys Ben Josh and Sam