ANXIOUS CRICKET

 

I went to my doctor today with a rash

While suffering acute anxiety, because

Of a plan my Cricket team were hatching

I suspected they were about to drop me

Because my nickname was butterfingers

Its ok though as what I've got isn’t catching

I’M A REALLY KEEN CRICKET FAN AND

 

I’m a really keen cricket fan and

This summer I’ve watched it everyday

But now it’s over and I have discovered

That my wife left me back in May

MOURINHO OUT

 

Mourinho took control of the United Bus

However he repeatedly parked the Bus 

But then he threw players under the Bus

So now it’s time for him to catch a Bus

BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

 

Being an England supporter

At a World Cup or Euro’s melee

Is likened to over-optimistic parents

Of the fat kid on sports day

GIVE ME GOLF CLUBS

 

Give me Golf clubs, fresh air

And partner beautiful and fair

And to be honest you can keep

The Golf clubs and the fresh air

 

A paraphrasing of one of the great Jack Benny’s gags

GOLFING EXPECTATIONS

 

I was retired and played quite a lot of Golf

I teed off hoping for a good round ahead

And had the intention of shooting my age,

But unfortunately I shot my weight instead

 

A paraphrasing of one of the great Bob Hope’s gags

MIDDLE AGED EXERCISE

 

I have found in middle age

When I’m exercising

The best one for my core

Seems to be keeping a fart in

WHAT IS YOUR EXCERSISE REGIME?

 

“What is your exercise regime?”

I was asked by my new personal trainer

I said if I already had a regime

I wouldn’t need a personal trainer

A CARICATURE OF A RESPONSE

 

To exaggerate characteristics

For humorous effect is how

A Caricature is intended

It’s ironic the reaction to it

By Rowling and the like

Has also been exaggerated 

MASSIVE OVEREACTION

 

Portraying Serena as an angry black woman

In the Herald Sun wasn’t racist in anyway

As she was Angry, and she is a black woman

And it was a caricature at the end of the day

OWN IT SERENA

It wasn’t sexist, and it wasn’t unfair

Nor was it racist Serena, let’s be fair

The truth is you threw a huge tantrum

Because you knew your day was done