OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him Fastidious

FOGHORN LEGHORN LEFT

 

Foghorn Leghorn left

The basketball court

Wearing a scowl

Because he misunderstood

When he heard

The ref blew a foul

THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 2

 

The president of Chess Club

Was toying with his bishop

Then his mum walked in

And told him he had to stop

AN ENGLISHMAN WALKED INTO A PUB

 

An Englishman walked into a pub

But something was definitely up

There were no Irish, Welsh or Scots

Because they were still in the cup

MY HUSBAND MAKES LOVE TO ME

“My husband makes love to me

Like an Olympic athlete, honestly”

She boasted to her peers

“So it’s once every four year” 

THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT TENNIS

 

The most depressing thing about Tennis

Is that no matter how well I hit the ball

And how much time I spend practising,

I'm never going to be as good as the wall

ONE DAY ON THE GOLF COURSE

 

One day on the golf course

I overturned my golf cart 

A pretty woman came to assist

And I was attracted from the start

Elizabeth, was very attractive

And didn’t apportion blame

“Are you okay are you hurt?”

 She asked “what's your name?”

“It’s Colin and I’m fine” I replied

And she invited me to her villa

which backed onto the course

“I'll help you with the cart later”

“That's kind of you,” I answered,

But my wife wouldn’t like it” 

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted 

“Just come in and rest for a bit”

She was very persuasive “okay,”

I agreed, “But my wife won't like it.” 

After a stiff drink I said “Thank you

But I must go my wife will be upset.” 

“She’ll understand” Elizabeth said

“Because you might have been hurt”

And asked “where is she by the way?”

And I replied “Under the cart!”

THE USE OF DRUGS IS RIFE IN SPORT

 

The use of drugs is rife in sport

And it’s a worldwide thing 

But people think it’s just China

And that because of Do Ping

WHAT COULD THE POSSIBLE REASON BE

 

If a Britain was in the World Cup Final

What could the possible reason be

There is only one probable explanation

He would have to be the Referee

OLYMPIANS V PARALYMPIANS

 

The Olympics is the pinnacle

For any man and woman

But I believe that an Olympian

Is actually merely Human

Whereas a Paralympian

Is quite obviously Super Human

DISABILITY SPORT

 

They may well be considered

In life to have a Vulnerability

But where sport is concerned

They have no such disability

 

So calling it “Disability Sport” 

Couldn’t be more misleading

When the limits they are given

They are constantly exceeding

 

Don’t look at them as disabled

But as sportsmen and women

Because in the arena of sport its

As athletes you should define them