SANTA’S HELPERS HAVE A CRICKET TEAM

Santa’s Helpers have a cricket team

And they play when they can

They have no problem getting numbers

And the substitute is twelf man

SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET

 

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket

They only play when the snow falls

Even then they can’t hit the wicket

And they keep bowling snow-balls

THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT

 

I know little about St Andrew

Other than a shared name

With a famous Golf course

So he must have liked a game

BERT TRAUTMANN

 

Goalkeeper Bert Trautmann

Was from a different age

When topflight players

Were not spoilt and pampered

He didn’t live in a mansion

Or have a selection of sports cars

To get to work on match days

From his home in Stockport

To Maine road in Manchester

He had to catch two buses

WE HAVE A GREAT WELSH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Welsh international

Known affectionately as Griff

Well, when I say he’s Welsh

His parents once went to Cardiff

VERY ECONOMICAL WITH THE BALL

 

Very economical with the ball

That is a quality worth merit

Our captain is only economical

As he’s too slow to get near it

A GOLF OF DIFFERENCE

I have been playing Golf for years

And sometimes it makes me curse

But it doesn’t matter how bad I play

I know next time it could be worse

FOUL WEATHER GOLFER

 

If you don’t mind playing Golf in the rain,

Snow, Storm, Tempest or a hurricane,

Then not wishing to burst your bubble

It’s not just your golf game that’s in trouble

WE HAVE A GREAT IRISH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Irish international

By the name of Kevin O’Rourke

Well when I say he’s Irish

His parents once went to Cork

IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY OF HIM

 

In the program they say of him

That he is a loyal player to the team

But in truth no other club

Will have him it would seem

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She doesn’t suffer from delusions  

But she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from jumping to conclusions