THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT

 

I know little about St Andrew

Other than a shared name

With a famous Golf course

So he must have liked a game

BERT TRAUTMANN

 

Goalkeeper Bert Trautmann

Was from a different age

When topflight players

Were not spoilt and pampered

He didn’t live in a mansion

Or have a selection of sports cars

To get to work on match days

From his home in Stockport

To Maine road in Manchester

He had to catch two buses

WE HAVE A GREAT WELSH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Welsh international

Known affectionately as Griff

Well, when I say he’s Welsh

His parents once went to Cardiff

VERY ECONOMICAL WITH THE BALL

 

Very economical with the ball

That is a quality worth merit

Our captain is only economical

As he’s too slow to get near it

A GOLF OF DIFFERENCE

I have been playing Golf for years

And sometimes it makes me curse

But it doesn’t matter how bad I play

I know next time it could be worse

FOUL WEATHER GOLFER

 

If you don’t mind playing Golf in the rain,

Snow, Storm, Tempest or a hurricane,

Then not wishing to burst your bubble

It’s not just your golf game that’s in trouble

WE HAVE A GREAT IRISH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Irish international

By the name of Kevin O’Rourke

Well when I say he’s Irish

His parents once went to Cork

IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY OF HIM

 

In the program they say of him

That he is a loyal player to the team

But in truth no other club

Will have him it would seem

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She doesn’t suffer from delusions  

But she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from jumping to conclusions

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 1

 

We have a midfield General

Who’s really completive and hard

But everyone that we play

Just think he’s a dirty bastard

IN THE LONDON MARATHON

 

In the London marathon

One of my friends ran

Dressed as a chicken

While another one ran

Dressed as an egg

I don’t know who came first