THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME

 

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

 

There may have been some doubt

As to his allegiance to the club

Denoted by replica shirt and shorts

But no such doubt existed in regard

To the authenticity of his jock strap

As we all know what they supports.

ARE YOU WEARING A TIRED EXPRESSION?

 

Are you wearing a tired expression?

There is also a hint of depression

I recognize that look on a man

You’re a Manchester United fan

ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES

 

Anyone who actually believes

That cheats never prosper

Have never seen defenders

Preparing to defend a corner

ELATED JOCKEY

 

Jumping the last, sure footed,

Never a hint that he may fall

And after wining the race

The jockey felt five feet tall

WIMBLEDON TOP CEED

 

The top ceed began with

A firm backhand

Which was a bit harsh

On the ball boy

BRENTFORD VERSUS WATFORD

 

Brentford versus Watford,

Is basically me against my cousin

The Bee’s against the Hornet’s

I’m telling you we’re buzzin

SPORTING DECEIT

An affair between a Sportscaster

And my wife was my suspicion

And when I found them, they were

In the commentary position 

NO MORE JIG OF JOY

Norbert Peter Stiles

18th May 1942 – 30th October 2020 

 

Norbert Peter Stiles

Was his given name

A diminutive figure

But a giant in the game

Fearless on the pitch

Fearsome and ferocious

But away from the game

Gentle and humorous

I remember fondly

England’s greatest day

And I remember Nobby

At the end of play

With his spindly legs

And gap-toothed smile

Because no one danced

Like our Nobby Stiles 

I HAVE BEEN A KEEN SPORTS FAN

 

I have been a keen sports fan

For as long as I can remember

And my father, since boyhood,

Is an even bigger fan than me

Having said that, there is an event

That has frankly always puzzled us

And that is the University Boat Race,

Which takes place on the Thames,

Between two coxed eight crews

So not the most thrilling event

But that’s not the puzzling part

What puzzle’s us is the participants

As it’s always Oxford and Cambridge

So how do they always get to the final?

JOHN MCENROE ONCE SAID

 

John McEnroe once said,

And I completely agree,

That “The older we get

The better we used to be”