WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO ATHLETICS

 

When I first got into athletics

A hurdle scared me a bit

But with dogged perseverance

I managed to get over it

 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

 

The difference between a tea bag

And Woking Football Club

Is a simple one to discover

A tea bag stays longer in the cup

HAMILTON THE MUSICAL

 

I went to see Hamilton the musical, but

I didn’t like it when all said and done

It was definitely musical without a doubt

But not one mention of Formula One

SCHADENFREUDE

 

Schadenfreude is the great pleasure derived

By someone, from another person's misfortune

It’s ironic that the Germans have a word to express

My pleasure at them being knocked out so soon

FISHING PHILOSOPHY

 

Give a man a fish

And he’ll eat for a day

Teach him to fish

And he might go away

IT WAS A GLORIOUS WEEK IN JUNE

 

It was a glorious week in June

And I wore my best ensemble

But after Day three at Wimbledon

I hadn’t seen a single Womble

GOLD SILVER OR BRONZE

 

Gold, Silver or Bronze

That is the obvious question

What hue will his urine be

When they test the Russian

THE REF BOOKED HIM

 

The ref booked him for

Taking his shirt off

As it’s against the rules

To take the refs shirt off

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 2

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

All the horses looked effeminate

But it turned out to be the dressage 

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 1

 

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

The campest parade ring he’d ever seen

Turned out to be the dressage

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners