GOLD SILVER OR BRONZE

 

Gold, Silver or Bronze

That is the obvious question

What hue will his urine be

When they test the Russian

THE REF BOOKED HIM

 

The ref booked him for

Taking his shirt off

As it’s against the rules

To take the refs shirt off

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 2

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

All the horses looked effeminate

But it turned out to be the dressage 

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 1

 

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

The campest parade ring he’d ever seen

Turned out to be the dressage

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners

THE WOKING STAR STRIKER

 

The Woking star Striker

Went down in the box

It was his wife’s birthday

So it was not unorthodox

CAR FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY A THING

Car Football is actually a thing

And some people think it’s cute

But I don’t think cars should play

Because they only had one boot 

THE TRANSFER WINDOW IS OPEN

 

The transfer window is open

Which is very exciting for fans like me

Especially when I’ve just heard

Foghorn Leghorn has signed for KFC

ONE OF THE FOOTBALL SPECTATORS

One of the football spectators

Obstructed the keepers view

By standing between the posts

But, then that’s Annette for you 

IRONIC ADVERTISING

I fell about laughing when I saw Serena

In an ironic Advertisement for Tempur

As given her recent display of stress

It should have been a “bad Tempur” mattress 

SW19 CHEESE

 

When you are at Wimbledon

And you order a cheese baguette

The filling will most likely be,

Given the location, Tennis Raclette