Thursday, 13 April 2023

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 1

 

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

The campest parade ring he’d ever seen

Turned out to be the dressage

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners

THE WOKING STAR STRIKER

 

The Woking star Striker

Went down in the box

It was his wife’s birthday

So it was not unorthodox

CAR FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY A THING

Car Football is actually a thing

And some people think it’s cute

But I don’t think cars should play

Because they only had one boot 

THE TRANSFER WINDOW IS OPEN

 

The transfer window is open

Which is very exciting for fans like me

Especially when I’ve just heard

Foghorn Leghorn has signed for KFC

ONE OF THE FOOTBALL SPECTATORS

One of the football spectators

Obstructed the keepers view

By standing between the posts

But, then that’s Annette for you 

IRONIC ADVERTISING

I fell about laughing when I saw Serena

In an ironic Advertisement for Tempur

As given her recent display of stress

It should have been a “bad Tempur” mattress 

SW19 CHEESE

 

When you are at Wimbledon

And you order a cheese baguette

The filling will most likely be,

Given the location, Tennis Raclette

Thursday, 30 March 2023

ANXIOUS CRICKET

 

I went to my doctor today with a rash

While suffering acute anxiety, because

Of a plan my Cricket team were hatching

I suspected they were about to drop me

Because my nickname was butterfingers

Its ok though as what I've got isn’t catching

I’M A REALLY KEEN CRICKET FAN AND

 

I’m a really keen cricket fan and

This summer I’ve watched it everyday

But now it’s over and I have discovered

That my wife left me back in May

MOURINHO OUT

 

Mourinho took control of the United Bus

However he repeatedly parked the Bus 

But then he threw players under the Bus

So now it’s time for him to catch a Bus

IT WAS A BAD WINTER OLYMPICS

  It was a bad winter Olympics First it was the Luge I had a go at Then I found myself on thin ice Following some aggressive chat Th...