Golfers who try to make
Everything perfect
before they take
The shot will not
improve their lot
Wednesday, 29 March 2023
GOLFING PERFECTION
GOLF IS A MENTAL GAME
Golf is a mental game
And I don’t mean
cerebral
You have to hit down
To make the ball go
up.
You swing left and
The ball goes right
The lowest score wins.
And if that’s not mad enough,
The winner buys the drinks.
But if you get a hole in one
You buy the whole bar
a drink
FIRST GRADE CADDY
His five-year-old nephew wanted
To caddy for him on his Golf round
“You have to count my strokes,
So, your counting has
to be sound”
The Uncle explained, then asked
“How much is six, plus nine?”
“Five,” answered the nephew.
The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”
I’M A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER
I’m a very courageous Golfer,
At least in my view
Because it takes a lot
of balls
To Golf the way, I do
AS THE BOWLER BEARS DOWN
As the bowler bears down
The crowd can readily
sense
The batsman’s
discomfiture
And smell the fear as
the
Bowler releases his
fast ball
And rearranges the
furniture
ON THE WICKET AT LORDS
On the wicket at Lords
Is there any finer sight
Than the sun shining
On a bowler in full
flight
MARADONA’S HEALTH SCARE
Diago Maradona collapsed after
Watching the Argentinian team
And medics then found a quantity
Of blood in his cocaine stream
KEEPING THE BALL
Having the most possession
In a match, doesn’t
really count
If the opposing team
doesn’t want
The football on any
account
WORLD CUP RUSSIA 2018 – ENGLAND 0, BELGIUM 1
The old England are back,
I don’t know where
they’ve bin’
But from a position of
strength
They fucked up agin’
They’ve managed to
lose,
Very much to their
chagrin,
To a weak Belgium
team,
Who didn’t even want
to win
THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT
I know little about St Andrew
Other than a shared
name
With a famous Golf
course
So, he must have liked
a game
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