“My husband makes love to me
Like an Olympic athlete, honestly”
She boasted to her peers
“So it’s once every four year”
Saturday, 25 February 2023
THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT TENNIS
The most depressing thing about Tennis
Is that no matter how
well I hit the ball
And how much time I
spend practising,
I'm never going to be
as good as the wall
ONE DAY ON THE GOLF COURSE
One day on the golf course
I overturned my golf cart
A pretty woman came to assist
And I was attracted from the start
Elizabeth, was very attractive
And didn’t apportion blame
“Are you okay are you hurt?”
She asked “what's your name?”
“It’s Colin and I’m fine” I replied
And she invited me to her villa
which backed onto the course
“I'll help you with the cart later”
“That's kind of you,” I answered,
But my wife wouldn’t like it”
“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted
“Just come in and rest for a bit”
She was very persuasive “okay,”
I agreed, “But my wife won't like it.”
After a stiff drink I said “Thank you
But I must go my wife will be upset.”
“She’ll understand” Elizabeth said
“Because you might have been hurt”
And asked “where is she by the way?”
And I replied “Under the cart!”
THE USE OF DRUGS IS RIFE IN SPORT
The use of drugs is rife in sport
And it’s a worldwide
thing
But people think it’s
just China
And that because of Do
Ping
WHAT COULD THE POSSIBLE REASON BE
If a Britain was in the World Cup Final
What could the
possible reason be
There is only one
probable explanation
He would have to be
the Referee
OLYMPIANS V PARALYMPIANS
The Olympics is the pinnacle
For any man and woman
But I believe that an
Olympian
Is actually merely
Human
Whereas a Paralympian
Is quite obviously
Super Human
DISABILITY SPORT
They may well be considered
In life to have a
Vulnerability
But where sport is
concerned
They have no such
disability
So calling it
“Disability Sport”
Couldn’t be more
misleading
When the limits they
are given
They are constantly
exceeding
Don’t look at them as
disabled
But as sportsmen and
women
Because in the arena
of sport its
As athletes you should
define them
PARALYMPIANS
They should not be seen as disabled
When they compete
A Paralympian should
be viewed
Simply as an Athlete
LUXEMBOURG IS A MUCH SMALLER COUNTRY
Luxembourg is a much smaller country
But nonetheless in a
tournament year
They share something
with England
Which is their FIFA
Ranking I fear
THE LVG WAY
Your team should always have a plan “B”
In modern football you
would have to say
Unfortunately for
Manchester United though
Louis van Gaal doesn’t
have a plan “A”
MY NEW TENNIS PARTNER
My new tennis partner
Always obstructs my
view,
Stood in the middle of
the court
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