AFTER BEING CAUGHT USING

 

After being caught using an

Abhorrent substance in plain view

The shamed sportsman has promised

Never again to touch tofu

AFTER BEING CAUGHT, WITH NO EXCUSE

 

After being caught, with no excuse

For abhorrent substance abuse 

The shamed sportsman has sworn

Never again to touch Quorn

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT

 

The only good thing about

The advent of another Wimbledon

Is that it means you’re two weeks

Closer to football season

SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket

They only play when the snow falls

Even then they can’t hit the wicket

And they keep bowling snow-balls 

WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM

 

We’ve all heard about the mushroom

Who turned out to be the fungi sort

But he also won gold at the Olympics

So he’s a true champignon of sport

FOGHORN LEGHORN WAS THROWN

 

Foghorn Leghorn was thrown

Off the court

As the crowd began to howl

And he would never again

Be a referee

All because he blew a fowl

THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 1

 

The president of Chess Club

Was rushed into moving his pawn

When he heard his mum planned

To search his bedroom at dawn

MANCHESTER UNITED’S UNDERGROUND HEATING

Manchester United’s underground

Heating hasn’t been restored

So they’re planning to rename

The stadium Cold Trafford

JOHN JAMES "JOHNNY" BERRY (1 JUNE 1926 – 16 SEPTEMBER 1994)

 

The Forgotten Babe

John James "Johnny" Berry

Survived the wreckage

Amidst the snows of Munich

Though the crash didn’t end his life

He never played again

JOHN "JACKIE" BLANCHFLOWER (7 MARCH 1933 – 2 SEPTEMBER 1998)

 

Nicknamed "Twiggy"

John "Jackie" Blanchflower

Survived the wreckage

Amidst the snows of Munich

Though the crash didn’t end his life

It did bring his footballing career

To an untimely end

GO NOW BILL

 

WILLIAM ANTHONY "BILL" FOULKES - (5 JANUARY 1932 – 25 NOVEMBER 2013)

 

Go now Bill

Lay down the captain’s armband

You’ve earned your rest

Our tower of strength

Straight backed

Rugged and dependable

Take your place

Among your equals

And be at peace

 

Your strong facade

Oft betrayed

By sadness in your eyes

The sadness of survival

So go now Bill

And join the babes

You’ve missed so much

And take your place

Among immortals