The football isn’t up to much
We are all sensing doom
At half time the directors
Go off to the bored room
Friday, 22 July 2022
FOGHORN LEGHORN
Foghorn Leghorn
Was sent off the field
today
The referee claimed
It was for persistent
fowl play
A STRIKER AND A MAGICIAN
A striker and a magician
Clearly have in common
An almost instinctive ability
To do hat tricks effectively
SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014
Now the evidence is
viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally
screwed
But what I think is
rude
Is that he plays with
his food
CINDERELLA’S TEAM IS BOTTOM OF THE LEAGUE # 1
Cinderella’s team is bottom of the league
They’re even lower
than the bumpkins
But it’s obvious why
they struggle
Because the team coach is a pumpkin
ONE OF MY TEACHERS IS A RUNNER
One of my teachers is a runner
He does it fanatically
But I don’t have him
for PE
I have him for
Jog-raphy
I WAS BEATEN UP BY A HULA HOOP
I was beaten up by a hula hoop
A round, bad-tempered fink
It was a totally unprovoked attack
It was a “vicious circle” I think
THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014
Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of
Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to
understand
Biting people is a no
no
BIMBETTE ENTERED A SWIMMING COMPETITION
Bimbette entered a swimming competition
In the breaststroke
much to her alarm
She came last and
claimed she was cheated
As the other swimmers
used their arms
I LOVE IT WHEN WE BEAT THE AUSSIES
I love it when we beat the Aussies
It’s a bit of a
passion of mine
Because they are such
bad losers
I’m way up on cloud
nine
I like to ask them,
“Would you like
Some cheese with that
whine?”
A YOUNG WOMAN GOLFER
A young woman golfer had just started
Her round, when she was stung by a Bee,
It was so painful she abandoned the game
And returned to the
clubhouse for sympathy
Her golf pro saw her as she returned
And wondered why she was back so early
So he went to ask her what was wrong
And she told him “'I was stung by a Bee”
“Oh dear, that’s
awful” he said “Where?”
He was sympathetic
right from the start
“Between the first and second hole”
She replied wincing at the stings smart.
He nodded knowingly and said
“Then your feet were too far apart”
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