BIMBETTE ENTERED A SWIMMING COMPETITION

 

Bimbette entered a swimming competition

In the breaststroke much to her alarm

She came last and claimed she was cheated

As the other swimmers used their arms

I LOVE IT WHEN WE BEAT THE AUSSIES

 

I love it when we beat the Aussies

It’s a bit of a passion of mine

Because they are such bad losers

I’m way up on cloud nine

I like to ask them, “Would you like

Some cheese with that whine?”

A YOUNG WOMAN GOLFER

 

A young woman golfer had just started

Her round, when she was stung by a Bee,

It was so painful she abandoned the game

And returned to the clubhouse for sympathy

 

Her golf pro saw her as she returned

And wondered why she was back so early 

So he went to ask her what was wrong

And she told him “'I was stung by a Bee”

 

“Oh dear, that’s awful” he said “Where?”

He was sympathetic right from the start

“Between the first and second hole”

She replied wincing at the stings smart.

He nodded knowingly and said

“Then your feet were too far apart”

A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014

 

Luis Suarez thought the response

To his biting Chiellini quite amazing

He couldn’t understand the outcry

As for a cannibal he was only grazing

HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014

 

England will fly home

Into Glasgow Airport

Thus ensuring, a heroes

Welcome of a sort

I NEVER THOUGHT THE DAY WOULD COME

 

I never thought the day would come

In fact I would have thought it absurd

When the Football sense of “Brazilian”

Wasn’t the most popular use of the word  

WHEN I SAW MR MESSI PLAY

 

When I saw Mr Messi play

I was disappointed I must say

I had to take a second look

But he was nothing like in the book

AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014

 

Suarez should be hungry

Like all strikers

But for goals

And not other players

I LIVE IN A SMALL WINDMILL

 

I live in a small windmill

I’ve never lived in one before

It’s in a little seaside town

On the promenade by the shore

It’s nice, apart from the golf balls

That keep coming thru the door

THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY

 

In nineteen fifty three

The Magyars came to play

Bamboozling Billy Wright

The Beckham of his day

When Puskás dragged back

He made Billy Wright esquire

Look like a fire engine

Heading towards the wrong fire

 

On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium

England 3 Hungary 6, Ferenc Puskás scored twice

BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014

 

The reason England failed

So says a guy in a Favela

“It’s all the fault of that

Spoon bending fella”

“We’d have won if we hadn’t

Snubbed Uri Gellar”