THE CROWD WENT WILD

 

The crowd went wild

And the opposition reeled

As the Chicago Bugs

Won again at Wriggly Field

ARE YOU WEARING EAR MUFFS?

 

Are you wearing ear muffs?

Sorry but that’s how it appears

After all how was I to know?

That you have cauliflower ears

BACK IN 66

 

Back in 66

When I was just a boy

I was full of pride

Watching Nobby’s jig of joy

And when Bobby Moore

Was raised shoulder high

Holding the World Cup

It made every Scotsman cry

ARE YOU WEARING FOOTBALL BOOTS?

 

Are you wearing football boots?

Well, I can see you’re ready to play

I have just one small criticism

Namely we’re playing Golf today

IN THE LONDON MARATHON

 

In the London Marathon

One of my friends ran

Dressed as a chicken

While another one ran

Dressed as an egg

I don’t know who came first

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 2

 

We have a midfield General

Highly talented but temperamental

A hard-working terrier

But on a bad day he’s just mental

OUR TEAM PLAY AT AN HISTORIC GROUND

 

Our team plays at an historic ground

We on the terraces all proudly roar

All the visiting fans shout in reply

That it’s an old run-down eye sore

WE HAVE A GREAT SCOTTISH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Scottish international

By the name of Jim McKee

Well, when I say he’s a Scottish

His parents once went to Dundee

ARE YOU WEARING A REPLICA SHIRT?

 

Are you wearing a replica shirt?

So what team is it you support?

I don’t recognize the badge

Who the hell are Southport?

THEY’RE PUTTING ON ACTIVITIES

 

They’re putting on activities

For those whose lives need enhancing

Well I’m hard of hearing

And of the activities they are advancing

Budgie jumping, parrot shooting

And hen gliding 

Might be worth chancing

But no way am I going to have a go

At the Lion dancing

GREAT DEPRESSION

 

I have been diagnosed with depression

But I won’t let it beat me

I have been on the Internet

And I’ve found the treatment for me

It’s the 18-step plan

And I start on the first tee