Are you wearing football boots?
Well, I can
see you’re ready to play
I have just
one small criticism
Namely
we’re playing Golf today
Monday, 4 July 2022
ARE YOU WEARING FOOTBALL BOOTS?
IN THE LONDON MARATHON
In the London Marathon
One of my
friends ran
Dressed as
a chicken
While
another one ran
Dressed as
an egg
I don’t
know who came first
WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 2
We have a midfield General
Highly
talented but temperamental
A hard-working
terrier
But on a
bad day he’s just mental
OUR TEAM PLAY AT AN HISTORIC GROUND
Our team plays at an historic ground
We on the terraces
all proudly roar
All the
visiting fans shout in reply
That it’s an
old run-down eye sore
WE HAVE A GREAT SCOTTISH INTERNATIONAL
We have a great Scottish international
By the name
of Jim McKee
Well, when
I say he’s a Scottish
His parents
once went to Dundee
ARE YOU WEARING A REPLICA SHIRT?
Are you wearing a replica shirt?
So what
team is it you support?
I don’t recognize
the badge
Who the
hell are Southport?
THEY’RE PUTTING ON ACTIVITIES
They’re putting on activities
For those whose lives need
enhancing
Well I’m hard of hearing
And of the activities they
are advancing
Budgie jumping, parrot
shooting
And hen gliding
Might be worth chancing
But no way am I going to
have a go
At the Lion dancing
GREAT DEPRESSION
I have been diagnosed with depression
But I won’t
let it beat me
I have been
on the Internet
And I’ve
found the treatment for me
It’s the 18-step
plan
And I start
on the first tee
Wednesday, 15 June 2022
PRIORITISING
Players perform elaborate routines
When goals are scored
by my team
They must practise
them for days
But I would prefer in
many ways
That the celebration
performers
Would practise
defending corners
Tuesday, 14 June 2022
IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY
In the program they say
He’s a real seasoned
player
But what they really
mean
Is he’s past it the
poor geezer
WE HAVE A GREAT IRISH INTERNATIONAL
We have a great Irish international
By the name of Kevin
O’Rourke
Well, when I say he’s
Irish
His parents once went
to Cork
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