I have been playing Golf for years
And sometimes it makes
me curse
But it doesn’t matter
how bad I play
I know next time it
could be worse
Tuesday, 14 June 2022
A GOLF OF DIFFERENCE
PLAYING A WOOD
For most of us weekend golfers
The only wood that is
essential
To carry in your golf
bag
Is a finely sharpened
pencil
THE VICTORIANS
The Victorians
Invented a lot of
sports
Or if not invented,
Encouraged their
development
As a means of
instilling, fair play
Teamwork and
discipline
Into the next
generation
As way of training the
youth
For life in the wider
world
I don’t know how
The Victorians would
view
The sportsmen and
women of today
Not favourably I
suspect
RUNNING GENES
Scientists say there are now
Running Genes
But surely it would
chafe
If you ran in Jeans
INDUSTRIALISED SPORT
Sport was industrialised by the Soviet Union
To promote communism
And not the money
hungry capitalist west
But it profited
capitalism
AMATEURISM
Amateurism, when participating
Was more important
than winning
Well that idealism has
been lost
Because today it’s win
at all cost
TRANSFER SURPRISE
I was surprised Mario Balotelli left City
Though it was
surrounded in farce
I would have thought
it more likely
That he’d disappear up
his own arse
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INTO THE OCCULT
I have always been into the occult
I think the spirits
interest me the most
So, the Paralympics
disappointed me
Because I didn’t see a
single ghost
AT THE ESSEX GAMES # 1
At the Essex Games
Beginning next year
For the Essex folk
Have hit a snack I
fear
On health safety
grounds
There will be no swimming
Because it has
transpired
That the pool was
brimming
With dirty brown water
When every girl and
man
Had dived into the
pool
Wearing too much fake
tan
WE WERE AT THE WEIGHTLIFTING
We were at the weightlifting
Watching the woman at
work
My friend shouted
“great snatch”
I said, “Isn’t this
the clean and jerk?”
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