The dour Scot lost the first two sets
And the outcome looked
a pretty safe bet
But the plucky Brit
fought back to level
Only for the Scot to
return in the final set
Thursday, 26 May 2022
THE TENNIS SWING
THE BEST IN THE WORLD
I won’t hear a word against our tennis players
It’s true that they
certainly have their detractors
But I have always
thought British players
Make truly world-class
tennis commentators
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE - SOUTH AFRICA 2010
We were rubbish in South Africa
But we should stop the
whining
For no matter how black
the cloud
There is always a
silver lining
We were rubbish in
South Africa
And we get no second
chance
But at least we can
safely say
That we were not as
bad as France
ARE YOU WEARING OLYMPIC SUITS?
Are you wearing Olympic suits?
Well, you’re looking
very smart
You’re Essex lads,
aren’t you?
I bet you can’t wait
for it to start
You will show to the
world at large
That you have good
hearts
When you’re lighting
the torches
Show us you possess
some smarts
For I hope there is
more to you
When the 2012 Olympiad
starts
Than dropping your
tailored trousers
And lighting up your
farts
A GAME OF ALL FOURS
When she suggested
A game of all fours
I thought that meant
Getting into her
drawers
But no, I was wrong
Which is a shame
It turns out “all
fours”
Is just a card game
THE SIXTIES
The sixties, what a decade
I was only five, when in 1960
The Beatles hit the scene
And the following year
JFK took office as President
In 1962 a very significant appointment,
That of Alf Ramsey as England Manager,
Who brought us the Wingless Wonders.
The reborn Manchester United
Rising phoenix like from the ashes of Munich
Won the FA Cup in 1963.
In 1964 I held hands with Carole Duffy,
A very wonderful event at the time,
1965 saw United win the League title
And the mini skirt first appeared
The latter was less significant when I was 10
Then in 66 England won the world cup
(And yes, the ball did cross the line)
United won the League again the following year
And then fulfilling the dream,
So cruelly crushed 10 years before,
Manchester United won the European cup in 1968.
1969 was famously the year
That Linda McMahon first kissed me
Oh, and Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.
For me it was a decade of dreams coming true
A time when I thought life just couldn’t get any
better
And I was right, because then came the 70s
TIGER, TIGER - OUT AND ABOUT
Elin was asked what she and Tiger were doing
Out and about in the
early hours of the morning
She said she couldn’t
answer for Tiger
But for herself she
was out clubbing
A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0, - SOUTH AFRICA 2010
“We are disappointed with the draw
Against this piss poor
team today”
“We consider it two
points dropped”
Said a spokesman of
the Algerian FA
FULHAM’S FOLLY
Outside a football ground in London
At Craven Cottage, the
home of Fulham
Stands a statue of
Wacko Jacko
Why is it there? I
don’t know
What is he doing in
West London eh?
Is it because when
Fulham play
They are not all black
or all white
Not unlike Jackson
himself, is that right?
Or is it just that Al
Fayed my old lad
You are really barking
mad
EXTREME SPORTS TIP # 1
You don’t need a parachute
To go skydiving
Unless you want to
make it
A regular thing
ENGLISH DEFENDERS LEAGUE
Goals scored in the premiership
Reached record numbers
on Saturday
But that’s what
happens when you hold
An EDL rally on the
same day
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