A GAME OF ARRA’S

Me and some friends

Fancied a game of darts

I said, “Nearest the bull

To see who starts”

Johnny went “Woof”

And I went “Baah”

Then Danny went “Moo”

He was the closest by far

FIFA # 5

The beautiful game,

Is the life blood

Coursing through their veins

These guardians,

These stewards and rule makers

It fills their every waking moment

 

On the other hand

They are:

 

Frauds

Interested in

Football

A little 

ARE YOU WEARING RUNNING CLOTHES?

 

Are you wearing running clothes?

What on earth are you thinking?

You are in no shape for running

What have you been drinking?

I wasn’t born yesterday you know

You’ve had more than a tipple

You’ll be sorry I can tell you

When you end up with jogger’s nipple

GOOD BYE TOMMY

 

Good bye Tommy

Celtics gentleman

Respected by professionals

Respected by the fans

 

Good bye Tommy

Celtic servant and friend

A rock and pillar

Until your early end

 

Good bye Tommy

High in our esteem

The Celtic angels now

Have a new man on the team

 

Tommy Burns Died May 15th 2008

ENGLAND COACH - CAPELLO

 

The new England supremo

Mr Fabio Capello

Plans to take the England team

And fulfil our football dream

To raise English spirits up

And win the next world cup

But it would seem

This is just a silly dream

As the only way Mr Capello

The poor deluded fellow

Will take a team as far

As the finals in South Africa

The only way he can deliver

Is as the German team coach driver

ARE YOU WEARING PLUS FOURS?

 

Are you wearing plus fours?

Well, they look just the job

The tweeds with argyle socks

But you do look like a nob

ACED

 

My uncle sadly died at Wimbledon

He was a killed by a tennis ball

I wasn’t too sad at the funeral

It was a lovely service after all

FIFA # 4

 

Guardians of the game,

Holders of the purse strings

The doers of deals

Honest as the day is…..

 

On the other hand

They are

 

First

In

For

All the dosh

THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGH - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Cole and King were seen

Laughing hysterically

Just a few hours

After defeat to Germany

 

I saw no humour

In the way England plays

In fact I haven’t laughed

For the past two days

ARE YOU WEARING FISHNET TIGHTS?

 

Are you wearing fishnet tights?

That’s not a bad catch, I’ll bet

There’s a sight worth seeing

When you bend over Jeanette

That must be like the moment

The football hits the back of the net

TIGER, TIGER - MUTUAL APPRECIATION CLUB

 

Tiger should now have

Sympathy for baby seals

With first-hand knowledge

Of how they feel

As Tiger and the baby seal

Have in common

That they’ve both been clubbed

By a Scandinavian