I was beaten up by a hula hoop
A round, bad-tempered
fink
It was a totally unprovoked attack
It was a “vicious circle” I think
Saturday, 16 April 2022
DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH
Laughing is good for you
The effect is known
worldwide
Laughing is good for
you
The benefits cannot be
denied
Laughing is like
exercise
It's like you’re
jogging on the inside
Friday, 15 April 2022
BIMBETTE ENTERED A SWIMMING COMPETITION
Bimbette entered a swimming competition
In the breaststroke
much to her alarm
She came last and
claimed she was cheated
As the other swimmers
used their arms
I LIVE IN A SMALL WINDMILL
I live in a small windmill
I’ve never lived in
one before
It’s in a little
seaside town
On the promenade by
the shore
It’s nice, apart from
the golf balls
That keep coming thru
the door
BLONDSKI
Bimbette always wanted to go water skiing
And desperately wanted
to fulfil her hope
But despite a lengthy
and extensive search
BACK IN 66
Back in 66
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig
of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder
high
Holding the World Cup
It made every Scotsman
cry
Thursday, 14 April 2022
BACK IN 1966
Back in 1966
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig
of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder
high
Holding the World Cup
We all began to cry
WORLD CUP FINAL 2014
In big games teams are too afraid
To lose, which is a
sin
So just throw caution
to the wind
And go for the win
ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014
There has only been one thing
More inept than
England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s
pompously
Hapless performance as
a pundit
THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME
The first time I took my girlfriend home
So that my mum could
meet her
She wore a big green
shirt and huge gloves
And my mum said she
was a keeper
Tuesday, 12 April 2022
WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM
We’ve all heard about the mushroom
Who turned out to be
the fungi sort
But he also won gold
at the Olympics
So he’s a true
champignon of sport
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