BIMBETTE ENTERED A SWIMMING COMPETITION

 

Bimbette entered a swimming competition

In the breaststroke much to her alarm

She came last and claimed she was cheated

As the other swimmers used their arms

I LIVE IN A SMALL WINDMILL

 

I live in a small windmill

I’ve never lived in one before

It’s in a little seaside town

On the promenade by the shore

It’s nice, apart from the golf balls

That keep coming thru the door

BLONDSKI

Bimbette always wanted to go water skiing

And desperately wanted to fulfil her hope

But despite a lengthy and extensive search

She was unable to find a Lake with a slope.

 

BACK IN 66

 

Back in 66

When I was just a boy

I was full of pride

Watching Nobby’s jig of joy

And when Bobby Moore

Was raised shoulder high

Holding the World Cup

It made every Scotsman cry

BACK IN 1966

 

Back in 1966

When I was just a boy

I was full of pride

Watching Nobby’s jig of joy

And when Bobby Moore

Was raised shoulder high

Holding the World Cup

We all began to cry

WORLD CUP FINAL 2014

 

In big games teams are too afraid

To lose, which is a sin

So just throw caution to the wind

And go for the win

ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014

 

There has only been one thing

More inept than England and it 

Is Alan Shearer’s pompously

Hapless performance as a pundit

THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME

 

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper

WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM

 

We’ve all heard about the mushroom

Who turned out to be the fungi sort

But he also won gold at the Olympics

So he’s a true champignon of sport

THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 2

 

The president of Chess Club

Was toying with his bishop

Then his mum walked in

And told him he had to stop

HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014

England will fly home

Into Glasgow Airport

Thus ensuring, a heroes

Welcome of a sort