WORLD CUP FINAL 2014

 

In big games teams are too afraid

To lose, which is a sin

So just throw caution to the wind

And go for the win

ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014

 

There has only been one thing

More inept than England and it 

Is Alan Shearer’s pompously

Hapless performance as a pundit

THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME

 

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper

WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM

 

We’ve all heard about the mushroom

Who turned out to be the fungi sort

But he also won gold at the Olympics

So he’s a true champignon of sport

THE PRESIDENT OF CHESS CLUB # 2

 

The president of Chess Club

Was toying with his bishop

Then his mum walked in

And told him he had to stop

HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014

England will fly home

Into Glasgow Airport

Thus ensuring, a heroes

Welcome of a sort 

BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014

 

The reason England failed

So says a guy in a Favela

“It’s all the fault of that

Spoon bending fella”

“We’d have won if we hadn’t

Snubbed Uri Gellar”

ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014

 

You should always have a plan B

In Completive football I’d say

Unfortunately for England though

They neglected to have a plan A

IT WAS DURING A CHESS GAME

 

It was during a Chess game

That I remember him saying

“Let’s make this more interesting”

So we agreed to stop playing

MY SISTER HAS A TANNING SALON

 

My sister has a tanning salon

It is hers and her husband John’s

And at the national tanning awards

Their establishment won bronze

BRAZIL

 

The Brazil of old

Used to be a team of flow

A samba side with flare

Pass and move, give and go

 

The modern Brazil

Though, are a team of guile

Deceit and cunning

Replacing the cavalier style

 

The Twenty fourteen Brazil

Are a team of moments

But if they fail in them

They fail in tournament’s