WHEN I GO AND PLAY GOLF

When I go and play golf, there

Is something I’ve always done

I take a second pair of trousers

Just in case I get a hole in one

APPARENTLY NIGERIA IS NOW POLO FREE

 

Apparently, Nigeria is now polo free

So that’s deserves congratulations

But to be honest I didn’t think

They were one of the equestrian nations

ALADDIN’S WISH

 

Aladdin rubbed his lamp

And a Genie did appear

You can have one wish

But only one he made clear

 

“I want to live forever”

Aladdin told the genie.
“I’m sorry” Came the reply

“You can’t wish for immortality”

 

“Living forever

Is against the regulations

You must think again

And revise your expectation”

 

“Do you have your wish?”

Aladdin answered “Yup”

“I want to live to see

England win the World Cup”

WHY ARE PIDGEON’S GREAT BASEBALL PLAYERS?

 

Why are Pidgeon’s great baseball players?

At the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome?

Well, it’s obvious when you think about it

It’s because they always make it home

THE ONLY GOOD THING

 

The only good thing

About the end of Wimbledon

Is it means you’re two weeks

Closer to football season

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEART TO A TENNIS PLAYER

Never lose your heart to a tennis player

And that goes for women and men

But it’s not that they are bad people

It’s just that love means nothing to them

OLYMPIANS V PARALYMPIANS

 

The Olympics is the pinnacle

For any man and woman

But I believe that an Olympian

Is actually merely Human

Whereas a Paralympian

Is quite obviously Superhuman

DISABILITY SPORT

 

They may well be considered

In life to have a Vulnerability

But where sport is concerned

They have no such disability

 

So, calling it “Disability Sport” 

Couldn’t be more misleading

When the limits they are given

They are constantly exceeding

 

Don’t look at them as disabled

But as sportsmen and women

Because in the arena of sport its

As athletes you should define them

I TRAVEL ON THE TRAIN TO WIMBLEDON

 

I travel on the train to Wimbledon

It’s the best station by far for me

As you can change for the Overground

Underground and Wombleing free

PARALYMPIANS

 

They should not be seen as disabled

When they compete

A Paralympian should be viewed

Simply as an Athlete

ONE DAY ON THE GOLF COURSE

 

One day on the golf course

I overturned my golf cart 

A pretty woman came to assist

And I was attracted from the start

Elizabeth, was very attractive

And didn’t apportion blame

“Are you okay are you hurt?”

She asked, “what's your name?”

“It’s Colin and I’m fine” I replied

And she invited me to her villa

which backed onto the course

“I'll help you with the cart later”

“That's kind of you,” I answered,

But my wife wouldn’t like it” 

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted 

“Just come in and rest for a bit”

She was very persuasive “okay,”

I agreed, “But my wife won't like it.”

After a stiff drink I said “Thank you

But I must go my wife will be upset.” 

“She’ll understand” Elizabeth said

“Because you might have been hurt”

And asked, “where is she by the way?”

And I replied, “Under the cart!”