PARALYMPIANS

 

They should not be seen as disabled

When they compete

A Paralympian should be viewed

Simply as an Athlete

ONE DAY ON THE GOLF COURSE

 

One day on the golf course

I overturned my golf cart 

A pretty woman came to assist

And I was attracted from the start

Elizabeth, was very attractive

And didn’t apportion blame

“Are you okay are you hurt?”

She asked, “what's your name?”

“It’s Colin and I’m fine” I replied

And she invited me to her villa

which backed onto the course

“I'll help you with the cart later”

“That's kind of you,” I answered,

But my wife wouldn’t like it” 

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted 

“Just come in and rest for a bit”

She was very persuasive “okay,”

I agreed, “But my wife won't like it.”

After a stiff drink I said “Thank you

But I must go my wife will be upset.” 

“She’ll understand” Elizabeth said

“Because you might have been hurt”

And asked, “where is she by the way?”

And I replied, “Under the cart!”

I’M A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER

 

I’m a very courageous Golfer,

At least in my view

Because it takes a lot of balls

To Golf the way, I do

THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT TENNIS

 

The most depressing thing about Tennis

Is that no matter how well I hit the ball

And how much time I spend practising,

I'm never going to be as good as the wall

A GIMME

 

“Gimme” is a famous Golfing term

Best described as an agreement

Between two like-minded Golfers,

Whose putting is to their detriment

OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him Fastidious

A MULLIGAN

The Golfing term “mulligan”

Is actually a contraction

Of the phrase “muller it again”

MARADONA’S HEALTH SCARE

 

Diago Maradona collapsed after

Watching the Argentinian team

And medics then found a quantity

Of blood in his cocaine stream

GOLFING PERFECTION

 

Golfers who try to make

Everything perfect before they take

The shot will not improve their lot

And rarely make a perfect shot

KEEPING THE BALL

 

Having the most possession

In a match, doesn’t really count

If the opposing team doesn’t want

The football on any account

SCUBA TECHNIQUE

 

Have you ever wondered why it is?

When sitting on the edge of the boat

Scuba divers always fall backwards

When entering the water, well take note 

It’s because if they were to fall forwards

They would go face first into the boat