WHEN I SAW MR MESSI PLAY

 

When I saw Mr Messi play

I was disappointed I must say

I had to take a second look

But he was nothing like in the book

MY BOSS DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM

 

My Boss doesn’t go to the gym

But it’s not a case of him being slack  

He gets all the exercise he needs

Just by stabbing people in the back

SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014

 

Now the evidence is viewed

And the enquiry will conclude

That Suarez is totally screwed

But what I think is rude

Is that he plays with his food

THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY

 

In nineteen fifty-three

The Magyars came to play

Bamboozling Billy Wright

The Beckham of his day

When Puskás dragged back

He made Billy Wright esquire

Look like a fire engine

Heading towards the wrong fire

 

On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium

England 3 Hungary 6, Ferenc Puskás scored twice

A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014

 

Luis Suarez thought the response

To his biting Chiellini quite amazing

He couldn’t understand the outcry

As for a cannibal he was only grazing

THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014

 

Whether you call him Lucho

Or El Pistolero 

Or the cannibal of Ajax

Or even El Conejo

Suarez needs to understand

Biting people is a no no

ARE YOU WEARING FOOTBALL SOCKS?

 

Are you wearing football socks?

Well yes you’ve got the right team

But you have forgotten to wear

The rest of the kit it would seem

MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1

 

My Dad doesn’t go to the gym

He has no need of their facilities  

As he gets all the exercise he needs

Just by dodging his responsibilities

IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME

 

If footballers spent more time

Training and practising their skills

Instead of feeling the sting

Of the tattoo artists drills

They would gain the fans respect

Instead of looking like utter pills

 

ARE YOU WEARING A FOOTBALL SHIRT?

Are you wearing a football shirt?

I like lady footballers for my sins

My only regret in your regard

Is you choose shirts instead of skins 

AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014

 

Suarez should be hungry

Like all strikers

But for goals

And not for other players