MY FRIEND GOT A PERSONAL TRAINER

 

My friend got a personal trainer

And trained with him for a while

Starting a year before his wedding

So I questioned the length of the aisle

AT THE WINTER OLYMPICS GAMES

 

At the Winter Olympics Games

One of the sponsors participating

Is a pharmaceutical giant who

Are sponsoring the Speed skating

CINDERELLA’S TEAM IS BOTTOM OF THE LEAGUE # 2

 

Cinderella’s team is bottom of the league

Though it’s no surprise at all

When the princess in waiting

Keeps running away from the ball

CINDERELLA’S TEAM IS BOTTOM OF THE LEAGUE # 1

 

Cinderella’s team is bottom of the league

They’re even lower than the bumpkins

But it’s obvious why they struggle

Because the team coach is a pumpkin

SANTA’S HELPERS HAVE A CRICKET TEAM

Santa’s Helpers have a cricket team

And they play when they can

They have no problem getting numbers

And the substitute is twelf man

SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET

 

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket

They only play when the snow falls

Even then they can’t hit the wicket

And they keep bowling snow-balls

THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT

 

I know little about St Andrew

Other than a shared name

With a famous Golf course

So he must have liked a game

BERT TRAUTMANN

 

Goalkeeper Bert Trautmann

Was from a different age

When topflight players

Were not spoilt and pampered

He didn’t live in a mansion

Or have a selection of sports cars

To get to work on match days

From his home in Stockport

To Maine road in Manchester

He had to catch two buses

WE HAVE A GREAT WELSH INTERNATIONAL

 

We have a great Welsh international

Known affectionately as Griff

Well, when I say he’s Welsh

His parents once went to Cardiff

VERY ECONOMICAL WITH THE BALL

 

Very economical with the ball

That is a quality worth merit

Our captain is only economical

As he’s too slow to get near it

A GOLF OF DIFFERENCE

I have been playing Golf for years

And sometimes it makes me curse

But it doesn’t matter how bad I play

I know next time it could be worse