FOREIGN JOHNNY’S ON THE SPOT

 

When they show their skills, they earn our respect

After scoring they celebrate and genuflect

They have great skill which we respect

But their cheating is what we’ve come to expect

PLAYING AROUND

 

She was my little sex kitten

Lively and playful

Very kittenish indeed

I had long hankered after her

With her Reassuring curvaceousness

And the feeling was apparently mutual.

She had a liking for the open air

And a penchant for the dangerous

So, while her husband played 18 holes

We played around

And made love in the long grass

Beside the eighteenth green

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

 

The difference between a tea bag

And Woking Football Club

Is a simple one to discover

A tea bag stays longer in the cup

MARATHON MAN

 

I used to be a Marathon man

A Marathon man was I

Then they renamed them Snickers

I don’t know why

LET’S SPLIT

 

I’ve always wanted to learn to do the splits

It’s an ambition since my earliest days

The guy at the gym said, “How flexible are you?”

I replied, “I can do any day but Tuesdays”

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 3

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

But by the third week

It started to get hard

As that’s when I started trying

To put on the leotard

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 2

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

So for the second week

I’ve begun to do a little more

I’ve started driving past

A sporting goods store

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 1

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

So, for the first week

I am watching sport on TV

BLONDSKI

Bimbette always wanted to go water skiing

And desperately wanted to fulfil her hope

But despite an lengthy and extensive search

She was unable to find a Lake with a slope.

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19

 

A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,

What makes you come so soon?

Just think about cricket the next time

that we get down to it in my room

CAR FOOTBALL IS A THING

 

Car Football is actually a thing

If not to everyone’s desire

Nonetheless the car was in

The dressing room, changing attire