CLEAN AND JERK

 

I’ve just found out about the clean and jerk

I don’t mind saying I feel a bit of a burke

In fact I doubt I could feel any dafter

Because I generally clean mine after

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 2

 

We have a midfield General

Highly talented but temperamental

A hard working terrier

But on a bad day he’s just mental

THE GIMME

 

If the “Gimme Putt”

Is the best you can do

Then I would have to say

That Golfs not for you

THE CROWD WENT WILD

 

The crowd went wild

And the opposition reeled

As the Chicago Bugs

Won again at Wriggly Field

GO NOW BILL

 

WILLIAM ANTHONY "BILL" FOULKES - (5 JANUARY 1932 – 25 NOVEMBER 2013)

 

Go now Bill

Lay down the captain’s armband

You’ve earned your rest

Our tower of strength

Straight backed

Rugged and dependable

Take your place

Among your equals

And be at peace

 

Your strong facade

Oft betrayed

By sadness in your eyes

The sadness of survival

So go now Bill

And join the babes

You’ve missed so much

And take your place

Among immortals

MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2

 

My Dad doesn’t go to the gym

And he hasn’t yet come unstuck  

As he gets all the exercise he needs

Entirely by pushing my luck

OUR TEAM PLAY AT AN HISTORIC GROUND

 

Our team play at an historic ground

We on the terraces all proudly roar

All the visiting fans shout in reply

That it’s an old run down eye sore

THE PRACTICE SWING

 

If your practice swing

Is the best you can do

Then I would have to say

That Golfs not for you

BATSMEN WEAR A PROTECTIVE BOX

 

Batsmen wear a protective box

In order to ensure

That the bowler cannot

Rearrange his furniture

THE FIRST TESTICULAR PROTECTION

 

The first testicular protection

Known as a "box" was introduced

In 1874

Whereas the first cranial protection

Known as a “helmet” was introduced

In 1974

So it only took a hundred years

For Cricketers to figure out the score

That balls shouldn’t be more

Important than brains anymore

AT THIS YEAR’S INSECT SUPER BOWL

 

At this year’s insect Super Bowl

The quarterback played dismally

Rimsky-Korsakov dropped the ball

It was the plight of the fumble Bee