AS A MULTI SPORTS CLUB GRASSHOPPER

 

As a multi sports club Grasshopper

Club Zürich are just the ticket

They play a large number of sports

Though funnily enough Not Cricket

JOHN MCENROE ONCE SAID

 

John McEnroe once said,

And I completely agree,

That “The older we get

The better we used to be”

SPORTING DECEIT

 

An affair between a Sportscaster

And my wife was my suspicion

And when I found them, they were

In the commentary position

RED FACED VISAGE

 

The man’s face was crimson red

And heavily pockmarked too

Like he recently been on fire

And put out with a Golf shoe

WHAT IS YOUR EXCERSISE REGIME?

“What is your exercise regime?”

I was asked by my new personal trainer

I said if I already had a regime

I wouldn’t need a personal trainer

MY DOG ATE ALL THE SCRABBLE TILES

 

My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles

When they were spilt on the mat

And for days he kept leaving

Little messages around the flat

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 2

 

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

All the horses looked effeminate

But it turned out to be the dressage

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 1

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

The campest parade ring he’d ever seen

Turned out to be the dressage

THE TECHNOLOGY AVAILABLE IS FANTASTIC # 2

 

The technology available is fantastic

But it has affected me detrimentally

As I realized I’ve not played solitaire

With a real deck of cards this century

THE GAME OF GOLF IS

 

The game of Golf is

A unique sport in my view

In which your most feared

Opponent is in fact you.

THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME

 

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper