IT WAS A GLORIOUS WEEK IN JUNE

 

It was a glorious week in June

And I wore my best ensemble

But after Day three at Wimbledon

I hadn’t seen a single Womble

SW19 CHEESE

 

When you are at Wimbledon

And you order a cheese baguette

The filling will most likely be,

Given the location, Tennis Raclette

A GIMME

 

“Gimme” is a famous Golfing term

Best described as an agreement

Between two like-minded Golfers,

Whose putting is to their detriment

FISHING PHILOSOPHY

 

Give a man a fish

And he’ll eat for a day

Teach him to fish

And he might go away

AS THE BOWLER BEARS DOWN

 

As the bowler bears down

The crowd can readily sense

The batsman’s discomfiture

And smell the fear as the

Bowler releases his fast ball

And rearranges the furniture

A MULLIGAN

 

The Golfing term “mulligan”

Is actually a contraction

Of the phrase “muller it again”

GOLF IS LIKE MARRIAGE

 

Golf is like marriage, firstly

Both are very costly

And they won't work if you take

Yourself too seriously

FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY

 

Float like a Butterfly

Sting like a Bee

Float like Buffalo,

Get punched in the face

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners

FIRST GRADE CADDY

 

His five-year-old nephew wanted

To caddy for him on his Golf round

“You have to count my strokes,

So, your counting has to be sound”

The Uncle explained, then asked

“How much is six, plus nine?”

“Five,” answered the nephew.

The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”

THE WOKING STAR STRIKER

 

The Woking star Striker

Went down in the box

It was his wife’s birthday

So it was not unorthodox