A MULLIGAN

 

The Golfing term “mulligan”

Is actually a contraction

Of the phrase “muller it again”

GOLF IS LIKE MARRIAGE

 

Golf is like marriage, firstly

Both are very costly

And they won't work if you take

Yourself too seriously

FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY

 

Float like a Butterfly

Sting like a Bee

Float like Buffalo,

Get punched in the face

ADMIRED ATHLETES

 

I have great admiration 

For athletic competitors

But you’ve got to hand it

To those relay runners

FIRST GRADE CADDY

 

His five-year-old nephew wanted

To caddy for him on his Golf round

“You have to count my strokes,

So, your counting has to be sound”

The Uncle explained, then asked

“How much is six, plus nine?”

“Five,” answered the nephew.

The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”

THE WOKING STAR STRIKER

 

The Woking star Striker

Went down in the box

It was his wife’s birthday

So it was not unorthodox

GOLD SILVER OR BRONZE

 

Gold, Silver or Bronze

That is the obvious question

What hue will his urine be

When they test the Russian

THE REF BOOKED HIM

 

The ref booked him for

Taking his shirt off

As it’s against the rules

To take the refs shirt off

HUMEROUS HAIKU # 2

 

Recently I had

A ballooning holiday

- I put on four stones

COMMENTATING ON EQUESTRIAN # 2

At his first equestrian event

And he thought he was seeing a mirage

All the horses looked effeminate

But it turned out to be the dressage

FISHING PHILOSOPHY

 

Give a man a fish

And he’ll eat for a day

Teach him to fish

And he might go away