TIGER, TIGER -TRAPPINGS

 

Being on the top of his sport

Tiger Woods is wealthy,

And he enjoys the trappings

Of being financially healthy

He has bought luxury cars

With what he has won

Once all in pristine condition

But now has a hole-in-one.

THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGH - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Cole and King were seen

Laughing hysterically

Just a few hours

After defeat to Germany

 

I saw no humour

In the way England plays

In fact I haven’t laughed

For the past two days

WOKINGS WOES

After a dismal start to the season

Woking are slowest out the blocks

With one point from five games

The crowd are angry to their socks

They have singled out a scapegoat

A target for their jeers and mocks

and they call the new striker “jigsaw”

Because he goes to pieces in the box

POINTING THE FINGER - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

We were predictable, disorganized, and poor

Our ineptitude was there for all to see

But as much as the players failed to turn up

And performed disappointingly

We were tactically bereft as well

Because Fabio Capello has no plan B

BRITISH BULLDOG

 

Diego Maradonna

He of the infamous

Hand of God

Has been savaged

By his new pet

The hound of God

FIFA # 4

 

Guardians of the game,

Holders of the purse strings

The doers of deals

Honest as the day is…..

 

On the other hand

They are

 

First

In

For

All the dosh

TIGER, TIGER - MUTUAL APPRECIATION CLUB

Tiger should now have

Sympathy for baby seals

With first hand knowledge

Of how they feel

As Tiger and the baby seal

Have in common

That they’ve both been clubbed

By a Scandinavian

GREAT EXPECTATIONS - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

I never expected us to win the cup

That was always inconceivable

But if we played to our potential

The Quarter finals were achievable

 

But when the first ball was kicked

They were more nightmare than dream

So I just wanted them to do their best

Clearly too much to ask of our team 

FULHAM’S FOLLY

 

Outside a football ground in London

At Craven Cottage, the home of Fulham

Stands a statue of Wacko Jacko

Why is it there? I don’t know

What is he doing in West London eh?

Is it because when Fulham play

They are not all black or all white

Not unlike Jackson himself, is that right?

Or is it just that Al Fayed my old lad

You are really barking mad

SUMMER SEASON

 

The summer started oh so well

With a Euro football banquet

Though sadly the home nations

Were unable to attend it

But the Euros inevitably led

To the curse of footie nations

The summer transfer market

And the incessant speculation

After the Euros came Wimbledon

And I cheered on the plucky brit

Then suffered our inclement climate

While being bored by the Cricket

I watched the windblown whingers

Hacking round at the British open

Then courtesy of the highlights

I sat and watched it all again

Then more newspaper talk

Of who will stay and who will go

Who is in and who is out

And more stories about Ronaldo

Two weeks away on the costas

Helped to numb the pain

Then home to more paper talk

And of course more summer rain

Even the upcoming Olympics

Fail to give me inspiration

Thinking of all that track and field

Merely deepens my depression

The only thing to break my torpor

And to rejuvenate my heart

Is to hear that shrill whistle blow

And have the football season start

CRISIS? WHAT IS A CRISIS?

 

The FIFA barons

Just keep getting fatter

The fattest of all are

Warner and Blatter

And despite revelations

And newspaper chatter

The president contends

It’s an internal matter