A man got on the bus
And
sat down next to Bimbette
He
smiled warmly at her
And
briefly their eyes met
Full
of Golf balls
His
bulging front trouser pockets
Caught
her attention
Her
eyes almost left their sockets
He
said, “its Golf balls.”
And Bimbette said “Oh”
Then
continued, “Does it hurt
As
much as Tennis elbow?”
Are you wearing snowshoes?
Blimey
those things cost a packet
Hang
on after closer inspection
Your
snowshoe is a tennis racket
Goals scored in the premiership
Reached
record numbers on Saturday
But
that’s what happens when you hold
An
EDL rally on the same day
We didn’t think that life
Could get any better
We were young
Happy and content
Kicking footballs
Building carts
Climbing trees
Fishing in the pond
Swimming in the pool
Then they came along
Distracting us
With their undulations
Their cheap perfume
That seemed so exotic
Walking with their funny wiggles
Laughing with their girlish giggles
And the boyhood fun was over
No more jumpers for goal posts
No more war games in the woods
We still played in the woods
But then it was holding hands
Hugging and snogging
And playing with fun bumps
But no more jumpers for goal posts
Never lose your heart to a tennis player
And
that goes for women and men
But
it’s not that they are bad people
Guardians of the game,
Holders
of the purse strings
The
doers of deals
Honest
as the day is…..
On
the other hand
Financially
Incongruous
Finagling
Acquiescence
My new tennis partner
Always
obstructs my view,
Stood
in the middle of the court
The most depressing thing about Tennis
Is
that no matter how well I hit the ball
And
how much time I spend practicing,
I'm
never going to be as good as the wall
Witchcraft abounds
In Wimbledon
This is a conclusion
That’s forgone
And there are witches
Everywhere
See if you can spot one
If you dare
Agassi is one and
That Tim’s a witch
And then there’s Goran
Even e’s a vitch
If Andy Murray wins Wimbledon
He
will be called a super brit
But
if he fails like those before
He
will be that dour Scottish git
When you are at Wimbledon
And
you order a cheese baguette
The
filling will most likely be,
Given
the location, Tennis Raclette
