ENGLISH DEFENDERS LEAGUE

 

Goals scored in the premiership

Reached record numbers on Saturday

But that’s what happens when you hold

An EDL rally on the same day

NO MORE JUMPERS FOR GOAL POSTS

 

We didn’t think that life

Could get any better

We were young

Happy and content

Kicking footballs

Building carts

Climbing trees

Fishing in the pond

Swimming in the pool

Then they came along

Distracting us

With their undulations

Their cheap perfume

That seemed so exotic

Walking with their funny wiggles

Laughing with their girlish giggles

And the boyhood fun was over

No more jumpers for goal posts

No more war games in the woods

We still played in the woods

But then it was holding hands

Hugging and snogging

And playing with fun bumps

But no more jumpers for goal posts

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEART TO A TENNIS PLAYER

Never lose your heart to a tennis player

And that goes for women and men

But it’s not that they are bad people

It’s just that love means nothing to them

FIFA # 1

 

Guardians of the game,

Holders of the purse strings

The doers of deals

Honest as the day is…..

 

On the other hand

 

Financially

Incongruous

Finagling

Acquiescence

MY NEW TENNIS PARTNER

My new tennis partner

Always obstructs my view,

Stood in the middle of the court

But that’s Annette for you

THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT TENNIS

 

The most depressing thing about Tennis

Is that no matter how well I hit the ball

And how much time I spend practicing,

I'm never going to be as good as the wall

WITCHFINDER

 

Witchcraft abounds
In Wimbledon
This is a conclusion
That’s forgone
And there are witches
Everywhere
See if you can spot one
If you dare
Agassi is one and
That Tim’s a witch
And then there’s Goran
Even e’s a vitch

ANYONE FOR TENNIS = 2

 

If Andy Murray wins Wimbledon

He will be called a super brit

But if he fails like those before

He will be that dour Scottish git

SW19 CHEESE

 

When you are at Wimbledon

And you order a cheese baguette

The filling will most likely be,

Given the location, Tennis Raclette

COOL PICK UP

 

It's just impossible

As far as I can see

To look cool

While picking up a Frisbee

DON CAPELLO - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

 

Don Capello spoke of the “Big Mistake”

And a big performance is his wish

But sadly the outspoken John Terry

Will tonight be sleeping with the fish