A GOOD SPORT

 If you are thinking of taking up a sport

Then here’s a thought

If you are going to try cross-country skiing

This is what I’m thinking

Make sure you are well equipped to ski

And start with a small country

AU REVOIR - LA COUPE DE MONDE

 They travel east

With Gaelic pride
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
Its said pride comes
Before a fall
They fell from high
Against Senegal
The next game a win
Or wonder why
A draw this time
With Uruguay
The final game
They have to win
Their cup defense
Must now begin
Will they play
Them off the park
They lose again
Against Denmark
So France crash out
And exit early
Perhaps they'll miss
The hurly burly
No broken hearts
They leave behind
Were glad they're gone
To be unkind
So what's the reason
France are out
We demand to know
The Frenchies shout
The answer is in
My firm belief
They should have eaten
British Beef

1966

 

Crossed from the wing
By Alan Ball
He picks out Hurst
Who's standing tall
He takes control
A turn and shot
Its hit the bar
Was it in or not?
It crashes down
Onto the line
Has it crossed?
It must this time
It's not a goal
The Germans say
Where's the ref
He's gone away
He even asks
The linesman too
He nods his head
England three - two
I have regrets
About that day
We did not win fare
The Germans say
Nearly forty
Years of doubt
Was the ball in?
Or was the ball out
But if Hunt had only
Knocked it in
We would not have
All the arguing

ARE YOU WEARING OLYMPIC SUITS?

 

Are you wearing Olympic suits?

Well, you’re looking very smart

You’re Essex lads, aren’t you?

I bet you can’t wait for it to start

You will show to the world at large

That you have good hearts

When you’re lighting the torches

Show us you possess some smarts

For I hope there is more to you

When the 2012 Olympiad starts

Than dropping your tailored trousers

And lighting up your farts

 

 

ACED

 

My uncle sadly died at Wimbledon

He was a killed by a tennis ball

I wasn’t too sad at the funeral

It was a lovely service after all

GOOD OLD FIFA

 

Good old FIFA

Are getting very fat

With a fee for this

And a fee for that

HERR BECKENBAUR

 

Oliver Khan was the man of the hour

If you talk to Mr. Beckenbaur

But it’s different it would seem

When he’s talking of the German team

Because if you put them in a sack

And gave the sack a mighty whack

Whoever it was received the blow

Would in no doubt deserve it so

WHO DOES HE SUPPORT?

 

“England are out what did you think?

What a free kick” he gave me a wink

“Those Brazilian’s are good though

Best team won don’t you think so?”

Now he wasn’t English that for certain

And he surely didn’t look Brazilian

Now there a clue a sardonic grin

He really must be of Celtic origin

FOUR YEARS TIME

 

They said we’d never make the trip

Along came Sven to steer the ship

Injury time deep we win a free kick

Golden balls scores with the final kick

 

The group of death they put us in

They said that not a game you’ll win

Well, we reached the quarterfinal

Losing to Brazilian’s inspirational

 

We will be back in four years’ time

To great new heights we will climb

Our place at the top we will regain

And we will win the world cup again

THE PRIDE OF ENGLAND

 

Everyone full of national pride

The atmosphere was electrified

St George’s cross’s everywhere

As our Englishness we’d share

They didn’t win the cup out east

While serving up a football feast

They won new friends out there

And hearts of people everywhere

Bringing new pride to the nation

And deserving of our admiration

DASH IT ALL

 

They called it the dash

Way back in the day

A short word for a short race

Dash was the right word to say

Now they call it the sprint

Like it’s something elite

It’s still just a short race

That’s been hijacked by the Effete