SPORTY WIFE

 

Now I keep telling my wife

No matter what she may have thought

In no way shape or form

Can shopping be considered as a sport

IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY OF HIM

 

In the program they say of him

That he is a loyal player to the team

But in truth no other club

Will have him it would seem

WINE DOWN UNDER

 

Don’t buy any Australian wine’s next year

Because since they lost the World Cup I fear

When we knocked them off their ivory tower

All of their grapes have suddenly gone sour

 

Written after the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final

 

IF NANI WAS IN YOUR TEAM

 

If Nani was in your team

Would you enjoy his flare?

Well, I can tell it has its place

But he just shows off to be fair

STRIKER

 

A new striker was signed for united

And to make his debut he was invited

The manager spoke to the debutante

Uttering words of encouragement

“If your performance is not sublime

I’ll have to pull you off at half time”

The striker attempting to be witty

Said “we only got a cup of tea at city”

WE HAVE A GREAT WELSH INTERNATIONAL

We have a great Welsh international

Known affectionately as Griff

Well, when I say he’s Welsh

His parents once went to Cardiff

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 2

 

We have a midfield General

Highly talented but temperamental

A hard working terrier

But on a bad day he’s just mental

I WAS DRIVING HOME AFTER THE MATCH

 

I was driving home after the match

Listening to the report on the BBC

It was described as a fascinating contest

Which surprised the hell out of me

Far from being an interesting match

It was the most boring thing you could see

VERY ECONOMICAL WITH THE BALL

 

Very economical with the ball

That is a quality worth merit

Our captain is only economical

As he’s too slow to get near it

PRIORITISING

 

Players perform elaborate routines

When goals are scored by my team

They must practise them for days

But I would prefer in many ways

That the celebration performers

Would practise defending corners

THE LEADER TOUCHED A BUOY

The leader touched a buoy

During the course of race,

When he got to the shore

His mother slapped his face