FOLLOW THAT MAN

Many years ago, when

One hundred white men

Chased a single black man

It would have been the Klan

However, we can be sure

Today it’s just the PGA tour

AT THE ANNUAL PANCAKE RACE

 

At the annual pancake race

The winner is always smug Trace

I’m always at the rear of the chase

Limping home in last place

Then I must congratulate Trace

And engage in a false embrace

When I really want to hear the base

Of the frying pan hitting her face

THE PANCAKE DAY RACE

 

The Pancake Day race was a popular event

And was held amidst much happy hoorays

Until the runners became too competitive   

And behaved like parents on sports days

IN OR OUT OF SYNCH

If a synchronized swimmer

Were to drown

Would the rest of the team

Also go down?

IT’S A FUNNY OLD GAME SAINT

The crowd at Woking’s ground
Loudly jeers and mocks
They call the striker jigsaw
As he goes to pieces in the box

 

BILLY THE KID

 

The noble art of pugilism

It has often been called

Not all would agree

And some are just appalled

Young fighter Billy Owen

Was barely standing

After being pounded

For three rounds in the ring

It was so noisy you couldn’t

Hear the bell sound

The ring of the bell

To mark the end of the round

The battered and bloody

Boxer sat on his stool

If you’d seen him, you’d

Agree the sport is cruel

The corner man took a look

And gave his view

“You’re doing ok kid

He’s not laid a glove on you”

The kid replied

“Then keep an eye on the referee”

“Because someone’s

Beating the crap out of me”

WITCHFINDER

Witchcraft abounds

In Wimbledon

This is a conclusion

That’s forgone

And there are witches

Everywhere

See if you can spot one

If you dare

Agassi is one and

That Tim’s a witch

And then there’s Goran

Even e’s a vitch

TEN MINUTES LATE

 

In a brand-new job and in a brand-new town

       A young man named George started working

A group of his fellow employees always met

       For a round of golf every Saturday morning

After finding out that George was a golfer

       He was asked if he could make the golf date

George replied that he would love to play

       But that he might well be ten minutes late

On Saturday morning he was there at ten

       He played right-handed and won the play

Next week George says that he will be there

       But he may be ten minutes late on the day

He shows up right on time and proceeded

       To play golf left-handed, and win the round

This continues for a fair number of weeks

       He may be ten minutes late on the ground

But without fail always turns up on time

       And then wins playing with either hand

The other players are getting fed up with this

       And an explanation for this they all demand

“George, every Saturday you say you may be

       Ten minutes late, but are never late to begin

“Then you play either right or left-handed”

       “And despite this” they said, “you always win?”

 “I’m superstitious so every Saturday I wake up

       I look over at my wife in the first morning light

If she sleeps on her left side, I play left-handed

       If she’s sleeping on her right side, I play right”

They absorbed this information with disbelief

      “Well,” one of the men said “tell us straight”

“What happens if she is laying on her back?”

      George replies, “Then I’m ten minutes late.”

MANCHESTER UNITED DARKEST HOUR

 

Broken in he twisted wreckage

The victims of Munich’s winter carnage

Crashing in the snow and ice

There would have to be a fearful price

And when the bill was finally reckoned

Deaths reaper grimly beckoned

Towards the twenty-three poor souls

That appeared on his fearsome rolls

Young men cut down in their prime

Older ones who thought they’d more time

Were all taken from that grisly place

To feel the breath of heaven on their face

Taking the souls who died in the snow

To where the innocents and the heroes go

JIMMY MURPHY 6TH FEBRUARY 1958

 

In those brief moments,

Jimmy was happy,

On top of the world.

He had reached the pinnacle

Wales in the World Cup Finals

United in the European semis

Life was good

Life was very good indeed

 

Then the news came

Of a crash in the snow

And suddenly

Life wasn’t so good.

Information,

Patchy at first

Trickled in,

Not all reliable

Miss information

Spread like the plague,

Then the facts emerged

From amongst the fictions

So many dead

So many lost

And for the living

Life would never be the same

 

Jimmy blamed himself

For being so smug

For being so happy

For being alive

A TALE OF HEROES

 

Young heroes returning

From a far-off foreign field

With hard fought victory won

Where the valiant refused to yield

 

Like heroes from Homers Iliad

Exalted in the legends

But in the Germanic snows

The heroes journey ends

 

As the Gods of winter struck

Fire and ice took its toll

And the names were duly writ

Upon an eternal honour roll

 

Geoff Bent, Roger Byrne (Capt)

Duncan Edwards, Billy Whelan

David Pegg, Tommy Taylor

Mark Jones and Eddie Colman